Champagne is best drunk when it is cold and when it is free. There’s nothing quite like a glass of icy cold fizz at someone else’s expense to make a Not Drowning Mother’s heart very glad indeed.
A couple of nights ago, I went to the Opening Night of a big musical with my friend Uncle B to see his wife – and my dear friend – KT take to the stage. It was a momentous occasion for a number of reasons:
- It marked KT’s return to performing after a four year absence, which is far too long for someone with her talent;
- It was the culmination of three weeks’ worth of down-to-the-minute scheduling of KT’s kids’ childcare – split between a part-time nanny, numerous friends in the ‘hood, and the occasional care centre. Honestly, it would have been easier to plan J-Lo’s wedding than to plan and run that schedule;
- There was going to be Free Champagne at the After Party.
But before we got to the sweet sweet fizz, we had to get through the actual play. Contrary to popular opinion, I am no great fan of the musical theatre genre, despite my joyful participation in Broadway-For-Beginners dance classes (see “All That Jazz“). Every time a character bursts into song, I have to fight back the urge to snort “As if!” very loudly, particularly when they are fleeing from the Nazis or about to die of a gunshot wound and they still find time to sing about it. Luckily for me – and for the people seated around me – the production was actually pretty good and, other than nudging Uncle B during a few “Magic of Musical Theatre” moments, I was very well behaved and indeed deserving of a free bevvy or two after the show.
And in any case, it was just so nice to see someone I love doing what they love to do and what they excel at doing. My friend KT simply shines on stage and it makes my heart almost as glad as the promise of Free Champagne does. However, I should point out that she’s lucky that what she loves doing is something that a lot of people love to watch. One of my dear cousins is a superannuation lawyer- and a very good one at that – but I doubt he’s ever had many chances to show HIS loved ones exactly how good he is at HIS job. Perhaps he could start an amusing little blog to broadcast his wins in that stimulating field? It’s not like anyone else we know is using that medium to shout “Look at me! Look at me!”, now is it…
ANYWAY, swiftly moving back to me and the Free Champagne part of the evening… (Did I mention there was Free Champagne?) At the After Party, Uncle B and I found ourselves standing on the peripheries, with (free) drinks in our hands, and both of us feeling a little Smaller Than Life amidst such a gregarious Theatre Crowd. I quickly came up with a Strategic Plan: whenever I leant in to Uncle B and said “Blah blah-blah blah”, that was our cue to throw our heads back and laugh with gay abandon. Unfortunately for Uncle B, the champagne was flowing so freely (no pun intended) that soon all I was pretty much capable of saying *was* “Blah blah-blah blah”, that my laughter was less “gay abandon” and more “self-respect abandon”. And so the good times rolled…
I finally got home long after midnight (well, thirty minutes after midnight – but every minute after midnight has a double loading for people like me who Don’t Get Out Much) and was in bed just before one o’clock. Rock and Roll! Tiddles McGee then did me the service of waking me up at 4:30AM (now officially known in this household as ‘four-fucking-thirty’) and my penance well and truly began. Before too long, I found myself lying incapacitated on the couch while Tiddles, who had somehow magicked himself a recorder from thin air, stood tooting in my ear really loudly. Soon after that, ABC Kids (which I had previously led my children to believe was only broadcast on a Sunday morning) was swiftly turned on and continued to stay on for the many long hours to follow. And as I lay, riding out my first ever serious hangover in over six years, with my three little angels staring quietly at the box with wide square eyes, I thought to myself “Now this – this! – is why they invented television.” Hallelujah!
That was great. Have you ever noticed when you were up late (something *we* never do) the kids get up especially early? It’s like they know that Mommy could REALLY use that extra sleep, but they just don’t care.
I endured a similarly painful (and similarly rare) hungover morning recently and after watching many hours of television, with his throbbing-headed mother curled up with him on the sofa, my son turned to me and said ‘This is the life, eh mummy?’ Clearly this is as good as it gets on my watch…..
And that’s why they say Nothing is Ever Free……