The other Sunday, as I was dropping off Mr Justice at a playdate, I found myself grumbling out loud about how I was supposed to be going food shopping next with the other two children and how I resented doing this on the weekend because I could do the shopping with Pixie and Tiddles any day and, any way, weekends were supposed to be different from weekdays, otherwise What’s. The. Bloody. Point.
Mr C, who politely listened to my little rant, patted me on my arm and gently suggested that I give up the distinction between weekday and weekend because it might make me happier.
And at that moment, I saw the days stretch out in front of me as far as the eye could see and I almost fell over with the endlessness of it all. It took me back to those early days as a First Time Mother, carrying Mr Justice around a local park, looking at other older children and thinking “The parents of those children survived…” and feeling like I might just not be able to myself because I could hardly breathe through the crush of unrelenting responsibility for this small angry creature from Jim Henson’s Workshop that I was holding.
And that was before I knew the full weight of it. That there would be wave after wave of requests and demands from that small creature – and the others that followed him – for sandwiches without crusts and drinks with heart-shaped ice and a dash of pink food-colouring in the blue-and-white plastic cup and NOT the white-and-blue one, thank you very much, and for comprehensive entertainment programmes for each day without one single minute left unscheduled in case someone actually got Bored for a minute, if you don’t mind, and for new shoes whose soles seem to have worn-through before we’ve even left the shop we bought them in, while you’re at it.
Of course nobody often says those things in italics, but their gratitude is inferred in their smiles and the way that when Daddy comes home they still want Mummy-Books and Mummy-Teeth and Mummy-Huggles, Mummy-Eskimo-Kisses-In-Bed and, of course, Mummy-Poos (which I hasten to add is where I act as Door Sentry while they do the ablutions – oh, why, oh why did I never manage to have just one child who was a Solo-Pooer?).
Overwhelming.
Nope, I’m clinging to this weekend concept for as long as I can, I said to myself as I drove off with my screaming children in the back into the car. And adhering to the “a change is as good as a holiday” rule, I decided to do my food shopping at a different supermarket.
Nobody can accuse me of not knowing how to have a good time. Nobody.






Mummy poos? LOve it!
I know , you know, the power of a consistent “no”.
I could give an assertiveness training at an almost safe distance from subsequent whining and screeching but judging how I react to the neighbours kids scream fest every saturday morning: no go.
Power to the enjoyment of the inner week end xx
I just love how you write.
I totally agree about the weekends. There HAS to be something to break up the monotony of motherhood. Ugh.
Ah NDM… “the crush of unrelenting responsibility” so honestly, yet eloquently put.
‘I could hardly breathe through the crush of unrelenting responsibility for this small angry creature from Jim Henson’s Workshop that I was holding’.
Accuracy on such a profound level. And it is because of writing and wit and observation of that calibre that weekends have become for me a nonentity by virtue of their total lack of a new NDM blog entry. I live for Mondays…
PS Loving the different supermarket idea. You’re one crazy cat and no mistake.
My wife still claims that the first 4 years of parenting gave her “repetitive brain syndrome.”
Thanks for the post NDM.
(impressive how I totally avoided the mommy poo, isn’t it)
I was just recalling yesterday, that in my early days in this vast experience known as motherhood, I would not do any work at home before 9am as I wasn’t yet officially in work hours. That was my way of making the distinction and avoiding feeling like I was working all the time. Of course now, nearly 7 years later I realise that I am *actually* at work all the time, and no amount of pretending can change that. I was thinking this at about 8.30am when I had already performed the myriad morning tasks relegated to ‘the housewife’, and was **happily** ironing to a background of the morning radio show, feeling grateful I wasn’t stuck in commuter hell. How times change.
I’m a big fan of the change as good as a holiday idea, and regularly shop at 3 different supermarkets just to create variety. I also do things like travel a different route, park in a different spot to give myself a change of scenery. Especially on weekends.
Now I just have to find a way to make getting up through the night to a wakeful 2 1/2 year old, and soon to arrive newborn a stimulating delight.
As for weekends…….
Great post NDM. You manage to capture the relentlessness of it all with such raw honesty, yet still keep that effervescent sparkle in your eye that keeps us coming back for more. (Well, at least that’s what I imagine about your eyes… in a nice way, not a creepy stalker way).
Oh Lord – no weekends, what a horrendous thought!
If there were no weekends, there would be no TGIF celebratory drinks on Friday night and no point at which to heave a sigh of relief. Even if that sigh really isn’t warranted since weekends are when ALL THREE children are at home 24/7 instead of a couple of them skipping off to school, it’s still lovely to acknowledge the end of the week, binge drink along with the rest of the population, and at least pretend that change is in the air.
And, for me, the ritual of making Saturday morning pancakes while dancing to old and new music on Rage en famille is a MOST necessary distinction.
By the way – Ram, you have a WIFE??!!
Wow, I’m totally confused – didn’t NDM win a competiton to go on a Valentines Day Dream Date with you? I mean, I hate to appear rooolly conservative, but did your wife know about the competition?… My cat hairs are standing on end, my claws are out and I’m suddenly feeling very protective of Sista NDM (even though I’m sure she can look after herself, especially when she’s shoe-horned herself into her ICPL superhero garb). What’s goin’ on??
Oops – I mean IPCL superhero garb (ICPL just doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?).
May I ask where was your dear husband while as this was going on? May I suggest that’s what makes the weekend different – husband is on duty. If you need me to have a quiet word to said husband you know where I am…
MGK – I suspect that Mr NDM is present, but as the world authority on Minimal Effort Parenting (hammocks at the ready and re-e-e-e-lax) the earth-shattering impact of his contribution might go unnoticed. Or is that too harsh?
I remember, when my children were young and it seemed as if I could never be any more tired, that someone told me it didn’t get any easier, it got worse. How I laughed. Now mine are older, and it isn’t any easier.
Or maybe it is, but I’m so tired that it feels harder. I don’t know. I put my hairbrush in the fridge yesterday and a packet of crisps through the washing machine last week – I am as qualified to offer any insights into parenting as a block of wood.
PS Weekends are worse. Their friends appear to be living with us now, too. And they all eat like horses.
.
I was in the Library on the computer one day, and I was sitting next to a woman who was at least 250 pounds, and suffering from anger management issues. Her kids were ranging around the library getting into trouble. One looked to be 4 & one 5.
They got into trouble, and came back to their mother and asked why. The mother’s response is “She’s stupid” referring to the librarian who was, let’s face it, just trying to set some boundaries.
The kids looked at me bewildered. Mama was angry once again, and they knew she was once again wrong.
I looked at the woman and she had the look of a hurt little girl, who thought the world was out to get her. I knew I should speak up, but correcting a 250 pound slugger made me a bit nervous.
I think that what makes you different, is that you think about things, and realize that raising children is an important responsibility. It’s the burden of being smart. That’s not a burden that some parents have. Take heart.
Stick to your weekend if it makes you feel better. And the ‘Jim Henson’s Workshop’ reference was just great.
I am still working my way through your archives and this is my absolute favorite post! Love your work NDM