The other day we were all playing a guessing game in the car – you know, the kind of thing you do with the kids to distract them from the fact it’s been five minutes since you last passed them back a biscuit. Five Whole Minutes. Sheesh! A kid could starve to death back there in the Love Bus without even a single milk arrowroot. Apparently.
Anyway, I was describing an armadillo, employing all my finely-honed writerly skills. My potential Pulitzer Prize-winning description went something like this: “I’ve got armour like a knight and I rhyme with ‘pillow’. What am I?” (Like it?).
And the Pixie immediately piped up with “A chicken with love hearts!”
Because of course a chicken has armour and rhymes with pillow, when it comes with love hearts. Those love hearts make all the difference, I find.
Now I love my little girl, but she’s one trippy child, man. When recently asked, as part of one of those facebook “memes”, where her mother liked to go, she responded: “To a party, to the city, to holiday, to sugar.” As my friend JS later pointed out: in her weird way, The Pixie totally summed me up.
And just when we thought we’d heard it all, my Pixie recently revealed herself to be one of the Greatest Minds of her generation, pioneering a new scientific phenomenon known to the world as “Fairy Science”.
Mr Justice was typically scathing, when he heard about it. “Fairy Science doesn’t exist,” he sneered.
“Yes it does,” The Pixie argued back. “You can make a Giant Fairy Wand which makes Magic using Fairy Science.”
“If it’s a giant wand, it will be 100 feet tall and you wouldn’t be able to hold it,” Mr Justice argued back.
“Then you use Fairy Science to make a Giant Fairy Robot which uses Giant Fairy Robot Batteries and then the Giant Fairy Robot can hold the Giant Wand,” The Pixie replied, as if pointing out the bleeding obvious. Of course you’d do that. You know it makes sense.
There’s apparently been all manner of recent advances in Fairy Science, according to our reputable source. Apparently, if you “make lots of little fairies and press a button to make them go chi-chi-chi“, this makes “fairy snow”. Amazing.
When I asked her who she’d heard about Fairy Science from, she said “Nobody. I thought it all myself.”
That I would believe. This is the little girl who will suddenly announce in the shopping centre “I wish I were an elephant blowing its nose” and, at other times, will shout “Turn off my ears, mum! The wind keeps rushing out of them.”
This is the little girl that I love “mostest” in the world, who snuggles against me each night and covers my face with small, sweet kisses each day.
Keep pioneering, Fairy Scientist. The world needs your magic.
She sounds awesome! I want to be a fairy scientist too! I can be her an assistant.
I loooooove the Pixie and her Fairy Science. I hope she can train Baby C in her magical ways.
Fairy science! THAT’S what I can finally complete my degree in!
I like fairy science way better than intelligent design.
I love how the Giant Fairy Robot requires batteries, just to make it seem that little bit more real. Adorable.
Actually this reminds me if the time lord f asked me ever so matter of factly ‘mum, why don’t I have three hands?’
Hurray for Fairy Science!
Fairy Science!
It has enormous potential for this sometimes sad and disconnected world of ours.
More Fairy science, I say!
I’ve discovered this old post today and it’s pretty much made my boring morning of writing policies bearable. FAIRY SCIENCE is awesome and The Pixie ROCKS! I totally adored this post and it had me laughing so hard I cried, and those tears are a little bit sentimental ones as well as from laughing. Adore Mr Justice’s logic and even more adore The Pixie’s defiance in making it *make sense*. The chicken with love hearts, the wind rushing out her ears, the elephant’s snot, fairy snow etc etc…seriously, this kid is my kind of kid!!