The NDM’s Hours Of Wandering And Learning

When I recently looked up one the favourite books from my childhood,”Heidi” by Johanna Spry, on Wikipedia, I was in for a surprise. Not a “Oh dear lord, who drew those entirely-phallic pictures on the kitchen wall and let’s hope that the word ‘permanent’ in ‘permanent marker’ is a misnomer” type of surprise. Or the “Special Chocolate” kind of surprise that Tiddles McGee prepares for me just moments before we leave on the school run. It was more a surprise that my memory was not the steel trap I like to think it is. 

Turns out that my childhood favourite is actually “Heidi’s Years of Wandering and Learning” by Johanna Spyri. All these years of getting the title and the author wrong by someone with a major in English Literature. Huh! Next thing I know, I’ll find out that I misread the book completely and Heidi was actually sold to the grandfather as cheap child labour and that Peter The Goat Boy was way more into goats that I supposed. 

Still, I like to think that in regarding “Heidi’s Years of Wandering and Learning” simply as “Heidi” for 38 years, I kind of made her “ahead of her time” – a kind of forerunner to “Cher” or “Madonna” and “Yanni”. And yes, let’s pretend for a moment that this is a Good Thing. 

Anyway, the reason I ended up surprising myself on Wikipedia with this information was because I had recently found myself giving “the nod” to “Heidi (etc)” not once but twice in 24 hours.  

NOD TO HEIDI #1: I was preparing to cycle to KT’s house to watch the Eurovision finals but with a peroxide-blonde wig on under my bike helmet. And if you must know why, it’s called “making an effort”, okay?

Now, if the kids had caught wind of the Eurovision finals being on, all chances of getting them to settle into bed was lost. Lost, I tells ya! And so, when they asked me where I was going (but not why I was wearing a wig, strangely enough), I told them I was going to drop around KT’s to give her a “Hair Surprise”. 

“Oh, Mummy,” the Pixie crooned. “Your Hair Surprise is so gorgeous!”. 

Well, KT and Uncle B both thought my Hair Surprise was gorgeous as well. Before I knew it, KT was donning a bright red wig in the style of Stephanie from “Lazy Town” and Uncle B was sporting a long curly one which, when combined with his neatly cropped beard, made him look not entirely unlike Dave Stewart in the Eurythmic’s “There Must Be An Angel” video clip.

Anyway, I like to think in this instance that I was a little like Heidi, who brought joy and life wherever she went, whether it be to the wheelchair-ridden Clara, the blind grandmother or even her new cantankerous owner, The Grandfather. And by “joy and life” in my case, I mean “the desire to wear wigs”. 

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NOD TO HEIDI #2: Just the very next morning, Mr Justice woke up saying his head felt “heavy” and that he was too weak to get out of bed. Welcome to my world, I thought. However, instead I smiled brightly. 

“Oh, you poor poor thing,” I replied, sympathy personified.”You can stay at home today if you are sick.”

“Yes, I’m sick,” he said, weakly. “So very very sick.”

I chose this moment to sweetly remind him of the rules for “Sick Days”: no computer and no TV. Just rest. Lots and lots of rest. 

His eyes widened. 

“I think I might try… to…. get…. up….” he said, rallying. And pulling himself up slowly like a newborn calf, legs uncertain but determined, he suddenly sprinted to the loungeroom to play blocks with his sister.

Another miracle, just like Clara walking again thanks to the magic curative qualities of the Alps and, of course, to Heidi.

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Having started off this whole post so confidently, I am now completely at a loss to how to end it. Could it be that I’m clutching at straws just a little here? But even if I am, Heidi slept on a bed of straw so it’s yet another nod to my childhood favourite. I do so love it when a plan comes together.

The End.