Recently, I found myself watching my husband brushing his teeth. He was using his hand to fill up with water and rinse his mouth, all the while leaving the tap running.
“That’s an incredible waste of water,” I remarked, quite frankly disgusted. “Why don’t you use the glass provided?”
“It’s not an ‘incredible’ waste,” he said. “An incredible waste would be water gushing over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, not just over my hand. Ooooh, look at me. This is “That’s Incredible” with Cathy Lee Crosby. Here’s the amazing story of a man who wastes an INCREDIBLE amount of water…”
It’s soooooo boring being married to a sub-editor. Okay, so “incredible” wasn’t quite the right word. Perhaps I should have said “That’s an unnecessary waste of water” or a “Totally avoidable waste of water.” And before you judge me too harshly, let me point out that we’re currently on Stage 3a Water restrictions – and it’s winter. For overseas readers – i.e. That Guy In Paris – Australia is currently experiencing one of the worst droughts in centuries (or maybe even ever? I should really research these things a little better), and one that has rendered its land drier than my mouth when I’m the designated driver for the evening.
It’s fair to say then that, as a Water Saver, I didn’t appreciate my husband’s oh-so-casual attitudes towards water. And I’m sure there are a few farmers out there who would also like to make a few comments about his attitude by way of pitchfork.
Still, both my husband and I were very happy when we finally got some rain recently. Until, that is, my husband ventured to say “Maybe this is the end of the drought?”.
I scoffed loudly at his remark. Because two days of drizzle will surely have filled those near-empty water catchments and magically undone six years of drought. Without a doubt.
Yes, indeedy two days of drizzle must certainly herald the end of this terrible drought in the same way as the following water-saving measures (which I came up with on the back of an envelope while waiting for my toast to pop) might prevent further unnecessary depletion of our water supplies:
- wiping under our arms and behind our ears with baby-wipes every couple of days in lieu of showering
- licking our plates clean instead of washing them (admittedly unlikely to happen in this household with my children’s track record of eating the meals I lovingly prepare for them. Unless I got a dog. Or a whip.)
- turning all public water fountains into chocolate fountains (for the purposes of comedy, let’s just ignore the amount of water required to keep the chocolate edible and within Health Department guidelines)
- filling all swimming pools with jelly crystals – Australia could go from being frequent winners on the International Swimming Circuit to being fearsome competitors on the international stage of Naked Jelly Wrestling. Olympic Naked Jelly Wrestling Gold, here we come!
OR
We could all just USE THE CUP PROVIDED when rinsing our mouths. Sheesh!
I vote for the dog _and_ the whip!
“Naked Jelly Wrestling…”
You’re playing my tune, NDM. Which reminds me, where has Liontamer got to?
…but how much water gets used to wash that cup?
Oooh, you pedantic types with your incessant questions.
I think we can safely say that washing the cup would use less water than the Niagra Falls spilling out his hand for close to one whole minute.
My husband would like it stated for the record that if by using “the cup provided” it meant one less naked jelly wrestling match in the world, he’ll keep drinking from his hand, thank you very much.
Also, did anyone pick up the reason I specified Naked Jelly Wrestling?
Because then you don’t have to waste further water to wash the wrestling uniforms.
And baby-wipes get off jelly just fine. I know this for a fact.
Baby wipes will get almost anything out of anything – fact.
The only thing that they are not particularly good for is cleaning diarrhetic poo off little bums. We have a two parent nappy alert in our house. As a general rule, if I can see a tide mark on a nappy leg I know that I am in for a 5 plus wipes situation.
It could be that I am just monumentally crap at changing nappies despite 5 plus years of experience. (I am more than a wee bit astigmatic.)
Once I have wrestled my way through child, nappies and disgusting wipes I have to wash my hands, forearms, forehead. Occasionally I need to strip off entirely and wash all my clothes. Water waste, pardon the pun.
He Who Pots says cut out the middle man and take the children straight outside to hose them down. If anyone threatens to report you, hose them too.
Really, I can’t say what I love most about this post. I love the argument because it sounds eerily similar to conversations at this household. I love the talk about the drought and the drizzle. (So sorry about the drought; I’ve been reading quite a bit about it) I love your ration ideas. I’m all for chocolate fountains, by the way. But maybe my favorite is reminding us that there is a glass left on the counter for a certain purpose.
I stand awed by your brilliance.
If your relatives and friends would normally gather together at your house for a particular event and they usually use your pool to enjoy swimming then you must regularly clean it up in order to keep your relative and friends away from health problem.
Uh, thanks for that Jack of PoolSideLeisure.com fame. I’ll bear that in mind before I add the jelly crystals.
Missed the jelly wrestling, but loved the pitt ref – that’s what I love about NDM – always so zeitgesty.
http://www.pittwatch.com/brad-pitt-beauty-tip-baby-wipes/
huh? jelly wrestling? sounds interesting lol
LOL. I know I could save on water when I am brushing my teeth. I must admit that the other day I was brushing my teeth and I walked out of the bathroom to do something and left the water running. I caught myself soon after though but the damage was done….. I would also like to say that I am new to this blog. Let me tell you, it is awesome. Very funny stories and with good points. Thumbs up all around.