Emails sent in the act of organising Book Group breed like rabbits. The “REPLY ALL” button sees to that. Before I know it, the one email I’ve sent out has spawned dozens of other emails, all flying about confusing everyone, as books, dates, locations and availabilities keep changing. In the end, nobody has any time to read the actual book for Book Group and I start to wonder if we should adjust our expectations and just start calling ourselves an Email Group instead.
Of course, sending out a July date for a May meeting never helps. I’ll own that.
Still, as the convenor of this month’s meeting, I’d just managed to send out one last email with FINALISED DATE in capital letters in the subject title when I received some news that changed everything…
Luckily, I kept a log of the subsequent chain of events, which I will share with you now.
Tuesday 27th April, 2010
18:00 Husband announces he has to work late next Tuesday (4th May), the night of my FINALISED Book Group (note capitalisation). I spend the next 36 hours IN DENIAL.
Thursday 29th April, 2010
06:14 Before I send an email out to my Book Group, I check the dates for the UK election, which I have assumed is the reason my husband is working late. However, I discover the election is on Thursday and not Tuesday. I email him, admitting I’m a bit confused.
06:25 My husband sends me an email saying “You think you’re confused? I just sent [work colleague] a photo of a pony dressed up as Princess Leia”. He attaches a photo of a My Little Pony dressed up as Princess Leia.
06:26 My husband then sends a subsequent email stating he has to work because the Federal budget is being passed down.
06:48 I send an email out to my Book Group admitting I can no longer make the FINALISED date that I, myself, FINALISED.
14:33 Fifteen emails later, Book Group is fixed for Wednesday 19th May.
Friday 30th April, 2010
16:59 I ask my husband what he plans to do for dinner on Tuesday night. Husband asks what’s happening on Tuesday night and I gently remind him (by way of shouting) that it’s the Federal Budget and that he is working late.
17:00 Husband casually responds that he got the date wrong and the Federal Budget is actually the following Tuesday (11th May).
17:01 I realise (by way of releasing a long, loud, strangulated scream) I’ve rearranged Book Group for no good reason.
17:02 Husband says it’s not his fault he thought it was next Tuesday because everyone was talking like it was next Tuesday and what was he supposed to do.
17:03 I politely suggest (by way of sneering menacingly) my husband might like to check dates before getting me to change Book Group night in future.
17:04 Husband asks what my problem is - I’ve got a new date so why am I complaining.
17.05 I leave the room before I kill someone. No prizes for guessing who.
17:06 I begin to secretly plan on printing out the sixty-four emails it took to arrange this month’s Book Group and make him eat them for dinner on Federal Budget night.
Wednesday 5th May, 2010
11:05 Husband rings up from work asking me to look on the calender at the week of the 10th May because he wants to book in a beer night with a friend visiting from interstate.
11:06 I tell my husband the Tuesday night is out. My husband asks if that’s my Book Group night.
11:07 My shouts are heard three suburbs over, something along the lines of “NO IT’S THE FEDDDDDDDDERALLLLLL FUCKKIKKKKKINGGGGGGGGGG BUDGGGEETTTTTTT!”.
Tuesday 11th May
19:30 Details of the Federal Budget are released to the public and everyone concludes it is one big long wet fart, hardly worthy of working late or changing Book Group dates (for example).
20:34 Husband rings from work saying he got the week of his friend’s visit wrong and can he go out for drinks with him next Wednesday (19th May). He may, of course, have been joking but it’s actually hard to tell over the sound of the phone being slammed down repeatedly.