Dear Readers,
I’ll admit that I had to check on dictionary.com whether this was Not Drowning, Mothering‘s ‘biannual’ or ‘biennial’ . Both sounded too close to ‘bi-anal’ for comfort, but you can’t argue with Mother English.
In any case, today marks two years since I opened a WordPress account and started writing. 446 posts, approximately 223,000 words and 7,121 comments later, I’m still here.
To help celebrate this momentous occasion, I invite you all to share your favourite Not Drowning, Mothering post in the comments below. A loose description using key words (i.e. ‘vomit’, ‘Hugh Jackman’ or ‘lactating asian babes’) would be suffice – I will provide the link.
I thank you all for your valued readership and remain, as always, your humble blogging servant,
The NDM
I have only been reading your blog for about a month & half to two months so really can’t pick a fav posting as the ones I’ve read so far have all been my fav postings.
I can’t wait to see what others who have been reading your blog longer say are theirs
Thank you, Motorbikes Lady. I’m hoping that my readers unearth some posts that even *I* have forgotten about…
Oh congratulations!! They are all my favourite, but if I have to choose I think the Brad Pitt blow up doll one rates up there as the funniest ever. You are hilarious & Mark from McCann will rue the day he didn’t sign you up!! xx
Ah, that’d be “The Inflatable Brad Pitt”. Excellent choice, Annieb25. Excellent choice indeed.
Good on ya NDM. You’re made of great stuff. Fave post would have to be the car park dance off West Side Story style. Makes me chuckle just thinking of it.
Thanks ay-kay. You’re of course referring to “The Sharks vs. The Jets” – West Side Story in a Presbyterian church carpark…
Hmmm – so many to choose from. What about the NDM guide to Pinatas. For some reason that one cracks me up! It’s either that or the vomit scale.
Always with the Piñatas with you, KC. Piñata this, piñata that.
Well, here’s the link: “The NDM Guide To Pinatas”.
Oh, and a link to the “NDM Children’s Vomit Scale”, too.
I would have to say the very first post I read remains my favourite – partially because of my long-standing fascination with discarded maternity bras and partially because it allowed me to immediately recognize a blog I wanted to read on a regular basis.
I wish you much continued success, NDM.
Oh, Ram. You’re alive! We’ve all been so worried…
I remember, too, the first time you visited my blog. That post was “Goodbye Old Friends” and I got a lump in my throat reading it again just now.
Anything with poo in it or on it NDM. The post about The Pixie’s rider is also a fave. And of course the post about the Vegan porn (and not because I gave you link, but because you made it fly NDM!).
Most of my posts involve shit of some sorts, even if I’m just talking shit.
Both good choices, though, Nellie:
- The World Weird Web, featuring the greatest Vegie Porn Star the world has ever known and then thrown in the compost.
- “Not-so-easy Riders”, a post that will ring true to any parent catering for a three year old diva.
Ahhh, the Vegie Porn Star. Its good to see she actually has some real-woman broccoli going on, and not just bare celery…. Thanks for keeping it real NDM.
I love them all! But in particular, anything to do with vomit or poo or wee. But my fave one … the McCann one. So classy …)
They do say that you’re only as good as your last post so you saying that my last post was your favourite must mean I rock. Or something.
http://notdrowning.wordpress.com/2010/08/27/mccann-advertising-agency/
I’ve been reading only since hmmm late May/early June. So far I think my favorite line has been a recent one:
“I panicked and, with as much authority as a woman sporting compression stockings and a pubic mullet could muster, I demanded to be taken to him.” From The Birth Plan. The post made me laugh and made me relate.
Love your mind, wish there was a way I could take you out for a drink so you could make me laugh it out of my nose.
Just knowing you pop by my own blog from time to time makes me happy. Happy Anniversabloggery!
Aw, thanks, letmestartbysaying.
“The Birth Plan” was a very personal post, not least because I wrote about my once-was pubic mullet.
Congratulations!
I’m pretty vague on my favourites. All the ones with the cat. Especially the one with the cat cleaning his arse on your pillow as some kind of revenge strategy. And the one about The Pixie’s doll (I mean, little sister). And the one you’re going to write about the hangover you’ll have after celebrating two whole years of bloggy brilliance.
Thank you, SpiltMilk.
I must say, though, that my cat doesn’t deserve any bloggy love. However, my own personal favourite was ‘An Open Letter To My Cat’. I think the post with the cat revenge is ‘Morning Is Broken’. Good times.
As for The Pixie’s ‘sister’, that one was ‘Living Doll’. Abby is still with us, by the way. I think she’ll be asking for her own iPhone soon.
Oh so many amazing ones to choose from! Definitely the open letter to your cat.
Snap! Just cited that one as one of my personal favourites above.
I remember loving one with a game you made up for your children to keep them awake in the car?
I empathised & had a similar game called “3-2-1 Ha hump” which you shout every time you are going over a hump in the road on the home stretch with sleepy child in the back. That and screeching shrilly…
I can’t remember the ones which really made me laugh out loud – probably because there are too many to remember!
Thanks, Mooner. I’d forgotten about that game and that post! It was ‘Trucky-Ucky-Uck’.
’3-2-1 Ha Hump!’ is a catchier name for a car game, though…
I’m a recent convert…
Loved the feeding supermodel babies one!
Congratulations on a brilliant blog!
Thank you, Monnie.
Got to love a good open letter. That was ‘Open Letter To Gisele Bundchen’. It’s weird we’ve not heard a peep out of her since…
I’ve been re-reading a lot of your wonderful work recently (secret project) and they’re all great.
But what I’d love to see, if such pictures existed, would be a night out with a plush bear school mascot, possibly called Buddy, that ends up in disgrace.
Oh, I know those pictures well. Nice call, MM.
http://notdrowning.wordpress.com/2008/12/24/a-merry-not-drowning-christmas/
shortarse. fridge freezer. are the sausages ready?
Fantastic summary of ‘Deep Rising’, MummyT.
Congrats! I’m only new to your blog but love what I’ve read so far and fear I may become addicted…!
Thanks, Penni. Luckily there are 446 posts to feed your new addiction.
I love them all! They’ve all made me laugh and been witty, funny and well written but some of my personal favourites are:
the sharks vs. the jets, the one about that terrible day with the late pass that ended with the note to the principal to cut. you. some. fucking. slack, the recent one about pixie and her doll (sister!) which featured a series of exchanges between her and Mr Justice, oh – and the one about the breeding plastic cups in the pantry. Golden!
Thank you, possible linely. I’d actually forgotten about those naughty fornicating cups. The post was ‘A Tale Of Two Cups’.
And the letter to the principal? ‘The Finger Of Blame’.
As a long-time slient reader, I thought I’d finally weigh in with my personal favourite, the first I read, which pulled me in, all about finding matching shoes and socks and children, and making those daily little trials sound like fun. Haven’t we all been there (although not necessarily with the same spark of humour)?
Yay! Another lurker coming out to say hello… Well, hello, haj!
I remember that post well. That was the third or fourth post I ever wrote and it was called ‘Herding Cats’. I’d like to say that getting shoes on my kids is easier these days, now that they’re two years older. But alas, no….
herding cats is also my fave. had me in hysterics, something about the pixie and her gumboots wasn’t it? although now that reminds me about the pixie invading the toilet space with profound questions – also a classic!
Congratulations, dear NDM. It’s impossible to pick any one favourite and even as I list a few off the top of my head, I know I will later think of more I left off! But here goes:
•I remember with a great deal of fond nostalgia the Love Bus and all the wonderful post fodder it so generously provided. Vale the Love Bus.
•How about the fantastic collaborations with your partner in domestic godlessness, the Bearded Iris (how is Iris, sadly her blog has gone private);
•The late pass and associated entries;
•Lovely things about the Pixie (not to exclude Tiddles and Mr Justice);
•I did enjoy my brief moment of fame when you blogged about my birthday;
•The most recent open letter to McCann advertising folk was so funny my husband and I are still laughing about it.
Happy biennial, NDM! Thanks for the memories and here’s to the ones yet to come.
Dearest Muliercula
Wow, that’s some list. You must really like me or something…
- For anyone wanting to read up on The Love Bus (sadly missed by one and all), a good summary post is ‘The Break-Up’.
- Late passes, as it turns out, are soooooo 2009. We haven’t had even one this year (she says, furiously knocking on wood). Still ‘Sorry, It’s School Policy’ is a long-forgotten rant, which involves a grown woman sobbing in the school office.
- The Bearded Iris, it would seem, is lost to the blogging world. How I miss her… ‘The Booger Heard ‘Round The World’ was our first collaboration and indeed heralded the start of the Gallery of Domestic Godlessness.
- ‘Lovely things about the Pixie’… Aaah….there are so many lovely things about that little girl. Which is not to say that the boys aren’t lovely too. I have therefore dug up a very personal post which I wrote when my grandmother died which shows all three dealing with loss and grief. It’s called ‘Life At A Funeral’.
- Your party? Rock. And. Roll. That was ‘Suburban Mums Go Wild’.
Dear NDM,
Happy blogaversary! I have been reading for a few months and have dipped into the archive from time to time and there is a lot of great writing there. I’m not a mum and past the age where it can happen but I do love sharing your experiences as vicarious as it might be. The Birth Plan made me teary and I do enjoy Ghengis stories but two of my most favourites were your moving and heartfelt farewell to your grandmother’s mix master (I bake and share your pain) and the one with your dad offering to sweep and then all your girlfriends asking if he could come visit them. In the interests of full disclosure I should say I know your dad, so could visualise the scene quite clearly. Thanks for the laughs.
Dear Aunty Em,
Thank you for your choices which gave me the chance to relive some sweet memories, not least of them the time my dad cleaned my house. Mmmmmm…. clean house….. (That post was ‘A Clean Sweep’)
Unfortunately, ‘K-Chef’ failed to illicit any free offers of Kenwood goods. A missed marketing opportunity for them, I think.
As for ‘The Birth Plan’, I think the only person who could possibly read that post and not cry is my anaethestist.
Thanks so much for your suggestions and I look forward to quizzing my dad about your true identity…
I can’t believe no-one has mentioned The Silent Red Ninja! And I loved the Birth Story last week, too. But they’re all my favourites really. Congratulations, NDM – and you just keep getting funnier and more poignant.
Oooh, yes, Madame Zap. ‘The Silent Red Ninja’ is a personal favourite. I actually still laugh out loud when I think about putting my underpants in a microwave but then I think we know what a sick sick puppy I am.
I love the stories from Blinkton and the post that started your side project of Domestic Godlessness. Mostly love your take on life in general and your willingness to share all of you!
You mean ‘Blinkton’ that is sometimes known as ‘Blinkford’ when I forget its code name?
I expect ‘An Introduction To Blinkton’, featuring the Blinkton Men’s Association Disco Dance Party, is one of the posts you are talking about.
(Thanks, lovely lelah).
oh its got to be the pee in the pants posting… I wet mine laughing !
Indeed, ‘A Wee Accident’ was one of my more important posts in that it broke the taboo preventing people from talking about grown women pissing their pants in public.
Buddy bear’s conversion to satan and subsequent night on the town (or was that tiles?).
Oh, Buddy Bear. What a night we had. The original post was ‘Gin And Bear It’, with the follow-up photos published on the ‘Merry ND-Xmas’ post (MM’s fave, as cited above).
And then there was karma’s revenge – ‘The Dangers Of Taking The Piss’.
Have to be The Finger of Blame cited above. It was my life without pictures.