It’s no great secret that my mind works in strange ways.
Just the other day, on of my Twitter followers (and “IRL” friends) LSK, tweeted me the following pertinent question:
Are you sure you weren’t born with two brains? One for all the normal stuff and one for, um, everything else?
My reply was swift but simple:
What normal stuff?
I felt that I had raised a fair point. Especially considering my recent shenanigans on Twitter where I decided to make a fake version of myself.
“A fake version of yourself NDM?” I can hear the usual suspects exclaim. “Honestly! It’s bad enough that you even joined twitter, let alone blog about twitter. And now you’re wasting our preciousssssss time with tales of fake twitter accounts. Two words: Grow. Up.”
Oh COME ON, you people who ask questions! Don’t pretend you wouldn’t do the same given half a chance. Why, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and that guy who played Dudley “Booger” Dawson in “Revenge of the Nerds” all have fake versions of themselves on twitter. Absolutely everyone is doing it, darling.
Still, I have to concede to those people that yes, I was extremely bored when I did this. I had been up since 5:15am, had already published my blog post, made Mr Justice’s lunch, laid out everyone’s clothes, found everyone’s shoes, made breakfast, done the dishes and I still had an hour and a half until I was officially late for school. What’s a Not Drowning Mother to do? Make her own fun, is what!
And so “TheFakeNDM” burst onto the twitter scene at about 7:27am on the 10th June, heckling her real counterpart by calling her blog post “vomit in a bucket” and tweeting deep ontological questions such as:
I wonder how many fake versions of celebrities on twitter have managed to get the real celebrity twitter account suspended.
By midday that same day, TheFakeNDM tweeted:
Being a fake version of a non-celebrity isn’t turning out to be as much fun as I thought it would be.
The problem with being a fake version of yourself is that you STILL have to do the dishes. You’d think there would be more perks, really.
By 2pm the next day, after asking how many black hairs you had to grow on your chin before it could be considered a beard, TheFakeNDM finally fell silent, the joke well and truly spent. Although whether the joke had any buying power in the first place is highly debatable.
And yet, nobody can deny that I did what I am always telling a bored Mr Justice to do: I made my own fun. And it was truly very much “my own” in that it was really only fun for me. And nobody – nobody! – can ever take that away from me. Except maybe Twitter, when they suspend my fake account for “strange activity”.
For the record, Curtis Armstrong, the actor who played Dudley “Booger” Dawson in ROTN, does not have a fake version of himself on Twitter. But he should. If I was his publicist, I’d be so onto him about it. You know I would.