Every idea, even the bad and the exceedingly strange ones, had to have had a moment of conception. I mean, someone somewhere had to have come up with the initial idea for Hooked on Classics (“Let’s breathe new life into the musical medley format by adding an infectious disco beat!”) or for a flopster film like Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot! (“Sly Stallone really should do more comedy…”) or even the Bratz franchise (“We’re bringing sexy back… to the pre-teen market!”).
I personally have always wished I could have been there when they came up with the concept for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I like to think the conversation went a little something like this:
PERSON A: Hey, let’s do a cartoon series about a bunch of teenagers who fight crime…
PERSON B: Uh, I think Scooby Doo covered that.
A: Okay, okay. But what if these kids were trained in the deadly martial arts of the Exotic Far East?
B: Nah, too Karate Kid.
A: What if.. what if… they’re wise-crackin’ crime-fightin’ ninja-trained TURTLES!
B: Meh…
A: MUTANT turtles!
B: Now you’re talking…
A: And their ninja master is a giant anthropomorphic rat!
B: Keep it coming!
A: And they say stuff like “Cowabunga!” and “What the shell?” and… and.. and “Let’s turtlize them!”
B: Aw, yeah… Bring it home, baby!
A: And they’re named after Renaissance artists!
[Pause]
B: Aw, now you’ve gone and blown your ride… and yet… it’s so crazy, it might just work…
Yep, I was pretty sure that’s how it would have gone. Except I’ve now since read on Wikipedia that the TMNT concept “arose from a humorous drawing sketched out by Kevin Eastman during a casual evening of brainstorming with his friend Peter Laird”, which is quite possibly a polite way of saying they were on mind-enhancing drugs at the time.
Anyway, to save dear Mr Eastman and Mr Laird from further damage to their brain-cells, I came up with some possible “Joanie loves Chachi”-style spin-offs for a variety of different age groups:
FKLTL: Freakish Kabuki-Loving Toddling Lizards
TRLGG: Tweenie Reptilomorph Labyrinthodontic Geisha Girls
MLCASW: Mid-Life-Critical Amphisbaenian Sumo Wrestlers
OAPDTS: Old Age Pensioner Deviant Trouser Snakes
And that’s just for starters. How many times do I have to spell it out for you people? IDEAS. PERSON.
Not Drowning, Mothering. 
Have you been spying on me NDM? I think its a little mean to describe me as a Mid-Life-Critical Amphisbaenian Sumo Wrestlers. I think of myself more as mature and curvacuous.
Dear Nellie… As you are the only person brave enough to leave a reply to this sub-par blog post, I applaud you and your MLCASW ways.
Before you know it, you’ll have your own catchphrases!
I shall see to it, personally.
I don’t watch much TV anymore so wow I am totally blown away that the Turtles are still entertaining, on any level.
on’t know about elsewhere but they’re still going strong in this household – thanks to the power of charity shop videos. We also watch a lot of “HR Puffinstuff” and “Astro Boy”.
i have always been fond of the Turtles, but they are essentially a one-off. So rather than Joanie Loves Chachiating this one, I’ve decided to go way off brief and take part of the initial concept and combine it with something else popular in order to make our hit show. It’s the higher plagiarism.
Everybody loves contributing to the growth of our nation through the filing of income tax returns, so that’s our second element.
How about a tax accountant who fights for her clients with her mad skills in martial arts. Oh yes, and she’s a hamster. So…er… Tax Hamster Smackdown:The Destructioning.
Right, I’ll get a team on it right away. And in about three years time the merch will be part of a McHappy Meal. I’m seeing Tax Hamster with a tiny voice chip saying stuff like ‘Tae Kwon Don’t!’ and ‘Deduct THIS!’ over and over and over.
Sheesh… I think I’m about to hand over my IDEAS PERSON crown to you, Mr Trivia.
Have you seen World Wrestling Entertainment and its various other incarnations? I think they’ve covered all of this already.
Animate it and the game changes, MM.
Thanks for the props as always, however I find that I have my best ideas when I should be doing something else. I was supposed to be completing an important piece of writing for money. But the allure of spit-balling in cyberspace versus working as a freelancer was too much.
Uneasy lies the head that wears the IDEAS PERSON crown, however it is your by birthright and blogright.
Here’s a couple more for the idea box…
Samurai Pizza Cats
Biker Mice From Mars
Oh wait… they’ve been done already. REALLY!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samurai_Pizza_Cats
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biker_Mice_from_Mars
Seriously. People got PAID for coming up with this stuff.
TMNT seems positively normal in comparison.
P.S. LOVED OAPDTS – action figures totally on my Christmas list.
You really should get those to some one. I mean, those are gold!