I confess: in the past I have made fun of bloggers and the awards they like to pass around to each other. I think my exact words on the subject have been something along the lines of how I’d be all “Oh, great! I’ve been given an award… which is just a stupid jpeg… WHERE’S THE FUCKING CASH?”
If someone – say, a psychoanalyst or a civil court – were to examine me further on why I don’t like blogging awards as a general rule they might uncover the following reasons:
- They are uncannily like those chain letters I used to get as a child that contained barely-disguised death threats for not passing them on;
- When I *do* choose someone to pass them on to, I worry about the people I didn’t choose because they might feel left out. And then I worry about the people I *did* choose because I might be legally required to kill them if they don’t pass the award on;
- Nobody ever gives me these awards. I think they’re afraid they’ll award it to me on the same day I’ve decided to prattle on about “lactating asian babes” or “online scrabble sex” and they’ll be tainted by association. I’m like the drunk-uncle-at-a-wedding of the internet world.
Anyway, now someone’s been brave enough to actually give me a blogging award, it’s suddenly no longer just a stupid jpeg. It’s like how I used to feel about people who wore Birkenstocks before I actually tried on a pair: suddenly it was no longer a fugly overpriced smurf shoe, it was a ‘lifestyle choice’.
So yes, last Friday, Bern Morley, twitter-friend and ace blogger, gave me this award:
I was particularly chuffed to receive it from Bern because, when it comes down to it, she’s the kind of person who’d be picked for a team in sports way before me, whether she was good at the particular sport or not. She’s just the kinda girl you really want to have hanging around: smart, sassy and funny.
Also, the award came at a time where I really needed a little bit of cheering up, mostly because of a vomiting child who curtailed my revelry at the mothers’ group Christmas Party and potentially created a sub-type on The NDM Children’s Vomit Scale entitled “The Blue Heaven Milkshake and Dill Pickles Combo”.
So, as these things go, I have to pass the award on. After much agonising deliberation, I’m passing it on to @Gabfran over at Caveat Calcei, who has made me realise through the power of her majestic prose that there is way more to the world of quality footwear than I could ever have imagined. Not only is this budding blogger a passionate shoe advocate and mistress wordsmith, she’s also a great person to have in your online corner.
I guess this is the point where I have to say to @Gabran: “Now you must pass this on within 5 days or cute puppies will die.” Which is effectively what Bern said to me. No, really, she did.
But now, Bern, where’s my fucking cash?