I first kissed a boy playing spin the bottle at a party when I was nine years old. The boy who I kissed (rather chastely, lips firmly closed) was in his first year of highschool and later told his sister that I was a “really good kisser”.
I have always remembered that and, from time to time, have thought about putting it on my CV, along with “neatest handwriting ever”, “knows how to work a buffet” and “I can touch my nose with my tongue!”. (That last one was actually on my CV in 1995 and landed me my first admin job. Fact.)
The Pixie is obviously a little more advanced than her mother and has already been spotted kissing various boys at school – as reported by the mothers of the various boys and by The Pixie herself. For example:
ME: What did you do today at school?
PIXIE: (enthusiastically) I kissed [Master J]!
Mr Justice was outraged when he first heard.
“YOU CAN’T DO THAT, [PIXIE]!!!!” he shouted. “IT’S AGAINST SCHOOL RULES!! A teacher told my class in prep that there was STRICTLY NO KISSING AT SCHOOL!!!!!”
The Pixie just laughed (“hee-hee-hee!”) and skipped off.
The next day, after school, Mr Justice pulled me aside.
“Today at recess, [Master X] came and gave me some information,” he said. “Some very interesting information, indeed. He said he’d seen The Pixie kissing Master J in the playground again!”
He waited for my shocked reaction.
“Oh,” I said, eventually.
“Exactly!” he replied. “So me and some of the lads formed a group. Our mission was to stop Pixie kissing boys! We went and told the teacher but her friends hid her from the teacher. We’re going to have to work really hard tomorrow to stop all this kissing stuff.”
Yes, way to go for a) escalating a conflict and b) showing an unhealthy interest in your sister’s love life, Mr Justice.
I went and had a heart-to-heart with The Pixie. “Mr Justice tells me that you’ve been doing more kissing at school.”
“Yes!” the Pixie said proudly.
“Well, I’m told there’s a rule about no kissing at school. Kissing is fine to do at home. But maybe… maybe you should just stick to hugging at school…” I said, not wanting to quash her loving nature but also not wanting Mr Justice and his Special Ops Squad to turn the whole thing into a CHOOSE-YOUR-SIDE BATTLE-TO-THE-DEATH-WITH-ULTIMATE-LIGHT-SABERS AUTOBOT-VERSUS-BATTLE-BRAWLING-POKEMON POWERBALL-type battle Every. Single. Lunchtime.
“Okay!” she said, brightly. “No more kissing at school! I’ll hug everyone instead!”
And she threw herself, naked, against me. “Like this!”
Uh, okay.
Free love is alive and well, surviving in suburban school playgrounds! Go Pixie.
I’m still waiting for that first call from the school saying “Uh, Mrs [Surname], could you please come and collect your naked child from the playground?”
Social order teeters like a tower of Jenga blocks late in the game…all it takes is one small act…
I can totally see you on Mr Justice’s Special Ops Squad, fighting the good fight against the evil of girls’ germs and kissing.
Pixie is far more advanced than I ever was! You go girl!
At this point, she doesn’t seem to need any more encouragement, emlykd. My guess is that you’d be on the Other Team, hiding the pixie from the teacher at lunchtime.
Interesting…….we have a snap as Master E has also been caught kissing his classmates, described in an eyewitness account from a school staff member thus – “yeah, full on kissing on the lips, boys and girls”. Apparently some of the kids have taken exception. We better ensure Master E and the Pixie do not meet till much later in life…
“Boys and girls” – oh, I love it.
Later in life? As in once they are in their mid-thirties, married with children?
The Pixie seems to be embracing school in a whole hearted way!
That probably should read “in a whole hearted and entirely naked way”.
My daughter’s school had to issue a “no kissing” policy when she was in kindy after a rather intense week where all the kindy kids seemed to grasp every opportunity to hug and kiss each other.
One boy reportedly asked my daughter for a kiss:
Miss E: But the school rules say no.
Mast H: It’s okay. When we grow up I will marry you.
Ah, young love.
Young love, indeed.
You see, Master J (one of the kissed) is going to marry Pixie when he grows up. He says it all the time. Since his parents are amongst my best friends, I’m happy with the match. Although Master J’s sister is less happy – apparently she has plans to marry him herself. For someone who grew up planning to marry her father, I really can’t talk. (For the record: my husband is not my father).
I have a problem with this post – I actually have the neatest handwriting ever and I would appreciate you not trying to steal my title.
So you and the Pixie can kiss my neatly written words and change your CV
xxxx
Them’s fighting words as the Write-Off currently underway on twitter can attest:
Ha – I remember playing Kiss & Catch in infants. I know it’s meant to be Catch & Kiss, but I wasn’t much of a runner, so my way worked better.
Definitely Team Pixie!
I’m always wary of games that have the word “Kiss” and “Catch” in them. Worried about what exactly I’m going to catch…
That was priceless!
Thank you. I think I would find it funnier if it involved someone else’s daughter.
My little Miss S came home on day 4 of prep and announced:
S: You don’t kiss people on the private parts!
Me: WHAT?? Why did you say that?
S: C kissed me
Me: Where?
S: In the classroom
Me: Where on you? (waving arms in circles around face and body)
S: On the lips. Mrs A says you don’t kiss on the lips because lips are your private parts
She then proceeded to give me a rundown on the location of all of her private parts. I was imagining her and C standing in front of the class being given a lecture about what and where is acceptable behaviour regarding your private parts.
It turned out that he had given her a peck on the lips and then later in the day, by chance, the class had had a discussion on private parts.
So now it seems he is her boyfriend although she didn’t officially end it with her old boyfriend from kindy.
I’m so scared of the teenage years!
I’m petrified of the teenage years!
I think the way the young people break up these days is by changing their status on facebook. Or just de-friending their (now ex-) boyfriend.
I’m quite disturbed that a highschool boy would kiss a nine year old
Sorry, I should have stressed that he was in his first year of highschool in NSW and eleven (and I was almost ten).
Oh I have not laughed so much in a long time – thank you NDM for sharing and Thank you Pixie for being so sweet and thank you Mr Justice for riteously defending wither his sisters honour or his reputation…
My daughter on the other hand told me she needed very short short shorts and a very small (size six please Mum- she is a ten) polo shirt – as that is the ‘cool’ uniform to wear!
Not on my watch.
She is soundly ensconsed in a dress, a just above knee length dress.
Or size 12 netball skirt and round necked tee-shirt.
Year seven will be a battle of wills…
I think it was all about Mr Justice’s sense of What Is Right And Wrong – it riled him so to think his own sister was a Breaker of Rules at his school.
She wears short shorts? Is she a Purple People Eater?
Oh no – she very much does not wear short shorts – although they are listed on the uniform list as ‘short shorts’ I think they are like those stubbie, construction workers, if they lean the wrong way you see evrything (on construction workers not the girls) style…
Strangely it is younger son who upholds rules at the new school and gets cross at older sister for not trying…
Grandma NDM rolls right off the tongue, doesn’t it?
Aarrgghh! I’m definitely not ready to upgrade this to a gentle grandparenting blog.
you do have the neatest handwriting – it has caused me to be jealous on many an occasion
I got around it by picking my favorite kissing partner as my “reading buddy.” For 20 minutes every day, we were supposed to pick a spot and sit with our reading buddies, taking turns reading aloud to each other.
Our place was under the teacher’s desk (located safely at the front of the class, and she was walking the class helping other kids). By the end of the school year, my reading buddy had proposed to me.
On the good side, I did wait fairly late to actually accept someone’s proposal, and even longer to have children of my own. So, hug away, Pixie! It’ll make you a MUCH more loving person, and a little more discerning when it comes time to settle down!
She sounds incredibly cute. At least she’s not putting her hand down every single ladies top she comes into contact with and shouting in glee “Boobies!” Like my 3yo is. Beyond obsessed with them. x
You’re in trouble when The Pixie hits hormonal overdrive, and then you’ll WANT Mr. Justice’s posse to deal with the situation.
I may be in trouble. Daughter isn’t even two and is already kissing boys in playgroup.