In an attempt to be the Healthiest Me I could be, I decided earlier this year that it was time for me to join a gym. Yes, I was going to become a Gym Person. Just like that!
Of course, four months later, I hadn’t even managed to get to the gym to pick up their application form, let alone do any exercise.
In the end, I was forced to concede that a gym membership might not be the smartest way for me to spend my money. So instead I went out and bought myself a Wii Fit Plus pack. This way I could do exercise in the comfort of my own home without having to purchase an AbTronic SuperPro 2000 or some other ‘as seen on TV’ home fitness solution that utilises NASA technology and is only used by people with impossibly white teeth.
To begin my Wii Fit journey, I first had to do a fitness assessment – with mixed results. After declaring me to be ‘overweight’ and having my Wii avatar (my ‘Mii’) literally inflate like a balloon in front of my eyes, it then assessed my ‘Physical Age’ as being that of a 31 year old. And since that was the age I was before three successive pregnancies laid complete waste to my body, I was pretty happy with that. A couple of days later, however, I saw my Wii Fit Age fluctuate from 22 years (in the morning) to 39 years (just shortly before ‘wine o’clock’). Although, that may have had more to do with the fact that I’d had all three kids home all day with a vomiting bug than any inconsistencies in the Wii Fit program.
But ‘Wii Fit’ is more than a Biggest Loser-style weigh in. There are dozens and dozens of games for you to play in the name of fitness on the ‘Wii Fit Plus’ disk. Personally, I love anything with the word ‘Plus’ in it because it gives me the sense of getting something extra, even when I’m not entirely sure what that something is.
One of my favourite Wii Fit Plus games is where a guy right out of a Guy Ritchie film teaches me ‘Rhythm Boxing’. Man, is that grumpy geezer hard to please! At the end of each session, he always and says “I know you can do better than that.” Perhaps he’s training me up for a jewel heist? Other favourites include the Kung Fu Rhythm (I am the Karate Kid – except with Kung Fu instead) and Super Hula Hoop (it’s all in the hips, people!). However, I’m yet to be convinced of the health benefits of dressing in a penguin suit and sliding along ice on your stomach in the imaginatively named ‘Penguin Slide’. Still, the kiddies love it and that’s got to be a good thing, right?
The kids’ favourite is the ‘Zazen’ (Zen meditation) game, which involves sitting on the Wii Balance Board in contemplative mediation while a candle burns on the screen in front of you. When you finish your mediation and move, the candle blows out. Mr Justice loves it because it’s a serious challenge for him to sit completely still for more than 15 seconds and the boy seriously likes a challenge. The Pixie, in contrast, thinks the purpose of the game is to get the candle blown out as soon as possible and so is always punching the air and shouting “YES!” whenever the flame is extinguished.
Of course when I sat down to try it and had Tiddles McGee immediately jump on my back, the program gave me a one-star rating and declared me to be ‘Unbalanced’. I guess someone had to say it…
Anyway, I just realised that this blog post is as close to a Product Review as I’ve ever got. And no, Nintendo have not asked me to write this, nor have they crossed my palm with gold and/or other games compatible with the Wii Fit program (hint, hint). Nor have they sent round the Wii Fit limo, replete with a magnum of low-joule low-alcohol champagne and a handsome personal trainer called Pablo who offered to massage my feet. In the low-joule low-alcohol champagne. While I drank vodka shots lined up along his back…
But I digress. I guess if this really is a product review, I need to end with a summary.
PROS: You can wear your pyjamas while exercising.
CONS: My ‘Mii’ needs bigger breasts.
Yep, that should do it. Let the Product Review requests and the free stuff roll in. Woo hoo! (*punches air*).
My mii needs bigger boobs too! I also love the step exercise where we all dance together. Step line dancing!
Another personal fave. If only the tune we were dancing to was ‘Achey-Breaky Heart’ instead of that tinny Wii fit music.
What is point in low-joule0low alcohol champagne?
Just askin’
😀
It’s for massaging your feet in, of course!
Ah yes, I don’t have the ‘plus’ version, just the regular.
And I was soooo good. I think I got up to 50 something days IN A ROW! You know, because it tells you, and it’s very condescending if you miss a few days!
But when it started telling me I was overweight, our relationship was over. I even held my breath, didn’t work.
PS Mine needs bigger boobs too. And the inflating Mii is so insulting! lol
The guilt trip about not doing it every day is working for me at the moment. I need to be bullied into exercise and if it is going to be done by an animated Wii Balance Board, then so be it.
My wii fit age is 57. My 10yo daughters is 59 and she was told she is, get this, obese. Way to go Nintendo.
We have cardio fit, boxing, skiing blah blah blah blah.
It is all safely tucked away under the low-line tv cabinet so it cant’ mock me. Seriously though, if I can’t be arsed doing exercise when it so damn accessible, it’s time to admit I am just a total lazy shit.
Love the story about the kids and the meditating. xx
My five year old daughter was told she was overweight but then it turned out that ‘educated guess’ I’d made about her height was about 15 cm out. Way to go, mum. She’s now back in the healthy range. Just like that.
Hey, maybe I’ve made that same mistake with my height! Maybe I’m actually 180cm and not, like, 162cm and as thin as a rake. Yeah, that must be it.
I’m pretty impressed, because after all the work I did in baseball, bowling, and tennis, my Wii age was 52. Maybe Australians have better Wiis than us Americans.
If only there were a Wii Olympics. Then we’d give you Yanks a run for your money in the ‘zen mediation’ event.
We have no Wii. I am holding out as long as possible. But it is not the Fitness games, plus or no, that worry me. It’s the karaoke. I am unable to resist. So I have to keep it out of the house.
I love karaoke. There, I said it.
I can see a Wii karaoke game where you have to blow the candle out on the screen by singing power ballads really really loud. Nice.
I hate gyms. Every time I’ve ever joined it has ended up costing me about $100 for every minute I ever stepped foot in there. So I’m not going to do it again.
With 2 small kids I also don’t get too many chances to get to a yoga class (exercise I do enjoy) but I also don’t have the motivation to do a yoga DVD (I currently have about 10 of them, proudly sitting next to some VHS copies of Jane Fonda’s aerobic workouts).
So I love the idea of Wii Fit. I like the novelty of it, and reckon I’d use it for a while.
But here’s the thing. Will I tire of it? Will you tire of it? Will the novelty soon wear off? Will it be delegated to the contraption graveyard alongside such exercise greats as “Abs By Jake” or the “Thigh Master”? I must say purchases of these items has greatly reduced since I no longer stumble into the house at 4am, tequila soaked, making me the perfect candidate for a Chuck Norris infomercial. Or for one of those things that slices vegetables really well 🙂
Yes, you will tire of it. Well, if you are anything like me you will. I bought it with the idea of being able to do a yoga class at home, while the children slept etc. And after about 1-2 months it’s now a dust gatherer. However, I calculated that yoga classes are $20 a pop, and I think the Wii Fit cost about $120, and I probably did yoga about 6 times, so I broke even!
The Yoga is deadly boring. For one thing, nobody is dressed up in a penguin suit while they do it. It’s a big oversight on Nintendo’s part.
I think there’s a market for product that allows you to slice vegetables *while* strengthening your abdominal muscles. In fact, I think Chuck Norris will definitely put his face to such a product. But hopefully not through the product. Nasty.
I want a product that slices vegetables grown by Chuck Norris whilst strengthening my abs, all done in the downward dog position. Find me that and I’ll buy two 🙂
I bought a wii fit plus at the january sales. It is sitting under the tv unit, unopened. I don’t hear it mocking me about how many days it’s been since I used it. Just the voice in my head, but the other voices in there drown it out.
I still haven’t had a chance to use mine properly cos the little one insists on helping!
My kids were happy just to watch for the first week but now they’re all wanting to have a turn, too. I blame the damn sliding penguins.
I have definite mixed feelings about the Wii Fit. It’s a cool idea, and there are quite a few exercises that are really good. But I feel like it’s not good enough for the long run. So, I bought an elliptical. That pretty much kicks my ass, so between the two, I think I can do a decent workout and not have to pay to go to the gym. Woot!
Does the elliptical utilise NASA technology? I’ve never heard of it but it sounds like you need to wear dark glasses while operating it.
We have a wii. I have a pro ranking in tennis which is something I am sadly proud of. I hate the jogging, mainly because once I got a bit competitive and did a wee, not my mii, but the real me. Needless to say I think the wii should come with a wee warning.
You should totally hook up the wi-fi and play my husband. He too is a pro at Wii tennis and kicks my arse EVERY SINGLE TIME. I no longer want to play with him because I know he’s just going to smoke me with an ace.
No one in my house dares play wii tennis against me, (not because I might wee on them) but even when I promise to play kind, my inner mii takes over and I just have to hit a winner.
Pro-ranking in tennis? That’s some addition to your CV there, my friend.
Your Wii story finally explains to me why they’re flogging those latex ‘skins’ for the balance board. I always thought there must be Wii Fit Tantric Porn games I just didn’t know about.
My fave on the Plus version is the marching 😀 I’m ace at that!!! Also love the Kung Fu too 🙂
Have you used “Lets Dance” – that is seriously brilliant. There’s a new one out too called “Dance on Broadway” which I REALLY want 🙂