I don’t know about anybody else but I’d have thought that if I had my hair done (two words: Mad Men), wore a tiara, donned a strapless black velvet dress and heels (okay, so not the mismatching red heels but heels nonetheless), bought $1000 worth of alcohol, called in favours from all my friends so there was great food, great music and a dance floor with moving lights and a motorised disco ball etc., etc., etc., that the night of my 40th birthday party would have been All. About. Me., right?
But nooooooooooo.
I had to endure guest after guest (after guest) coming up to me to say: “I want to meet the Mild-Mannered Lawyer!” and “I heard the Mild-Mannered Lawyer might be here!” and “That Mild-Mannered Lawyer is hot tamale!”
The MML! Shuh! (*shakes fist*)
I mean, I’m the NDM, people! Of course, I have to concede that it would have been a bit weird if all the party guests had been asking to meet the NDM or had been pointing and staring and saying, in hushed tones, “There’s the NDM! She’s sohotrightnow!” since, you know, they were my friends and knew who I was, anyway. But still!
Near the end of the evening, my friend Miss Deb came up to me.
“I’m so excited!” she said. “I met the Mild-Mannered Lawyer!”
“Whatevs,” I said. I may even have done the hand gesture.
“But to be honest,” Miss Deb continued. “I don’t think I could tell you which one she is now.”
Ha! In your face, MML! As I said to the MML later, “I MADE YOU. I CAN UNMAKE YOU!” Although, arguably, getting Miss Deb drunk enough that she couldn’t recognise the MML a few minutes after meeting her was more about unmaking Miss Deb than anything else.
Anyway, I should concede that the MML really is hot tamale even though I’m not entirely sure what ‘tamale’ is. And that the night really was All. About. Me. – as proven by my mothers group donning feather boas and providing back up to my dear friend KT singing her heart-of-gold out to “Reach Out I’ll Be There” just for me and then, later on, my Facebook Friend performing a spontaneous interpretive dance entitled “The Four Decades of [NDM]”, which involved a lot of primal screaming and, at one point, licking of the television screen. Tasty. Even my friend The White Lady, who every time I saw her told me, in no uncertain terms, that “THIS IS A SHIT PARTY! I’M SO FUCKING BORED!”, managed to drink and dance until the early hours, shortly before riding someone else’s $500 mountain bike home wearing heels instead of the clip-on shoes required.
And there was the Glügg. Of course there was the Glügg. HOW COULD THERE NOT BE THE GLÜGG? As predicted, a group of people joined me in a shot of Glügg some time around 3am. I’m not entirely sure that Glügg is meant to be drunk that way and, indeed, some might argue that the best way to serve Glügg is to pour it directly down the drain, but still… my friends honoured me with those shots.
As for the karaoke, all I can say is that some people still can’t get ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’ out of their heads four days later. Yes, they took that bullet for me and I love them all the more for it.
And then there were the hangovers right across the city the following day. Yes, my friends continued to honour me (and perhaps curse me a little) into the late hours of Sunday – and in some case, well into Monday, too.
So now I am forty. Pah! With such friends and family dancing up a storm in my corner, I think it’s fair to say that I’ve made forty my bitch…
Happy Birthday NDM!
Oh how I wish I was there to lick the telly with you. Happy 40th you old trout.
Love and Glugg
Mrs Woog
xo
Sounds like you had a shit hot party! Happy 40th!
xx
Happy Birthday!
I also hit 40 a couple of weeks ago. There was karaoke then too 🙂
I just happen to have cake over at my place today, click on through and help yourself!
Super de duper blog – so funny. Please write a book.
I’m going to have to keep this post somewhere safe and read it again when I turn forty – to make sure I attack it head-on too. Sounds like you had a great party…forty with attitude (my goal!!) xxx
Well this morning I woke up to finally find that (and many other songs) *not* stuck in my head any more. Sadly that is no longer the case.
I guess if the party is still hanging on to people days later, that is saying something 🙂
Happy Birthday NDM! My hero…
Brilliant!….. HBD
LOL. Only the NDM could make 40 her bitch. Happy birthday!
Can you organise my 40th?
And I’ll make sure the night is All About You 🙂 – well a small, appropriate part of it, anyway 🙂
Happy births!
You are definitely sohotrightnow.
Damn that MML. Doesn’t she know who you are?? **shaking fist in your defense**
I felt too intimidated by the MML’s Tamale-ness to introduce myself.
Oh my! Hearing this, I now know my own birthday party is severely lacking in fabulousness. Crap! Can you come and plan my party? It’s only… 5 days away! My two year old, Miss Anarchy, will gladly help with any decorations. And by decorations I mean dirty nappies, random doll appendages, and tiny clothing pieces thrown throughout the living room. But hey, It’s not a party until someone steps in it. 🙂
Well done, you. Am very impressed by your ability to drink that much without vomiting. I have three years to work up to that. Best get cracking…
Um – apologies to the MML. I do remember her name, so in my defense it was just my vision that was impaired, not my hearing. I had also wanted to meet MM – but then again, its just possible that I did…. Great party NDM, I had a ball – as you probably noticed (blushes with embarrassment).
Unfortunately, MY 40th was so long ago, it was pre-internet. Shit, it was probably pre- electricity. I don’t remember what I did on the day. Can someone remind me?…….
Sounds like one hell of a party. With any luck, I can have one a tenth as good as yours. Yea, NDM!
Sounds totally epic!
hip hip 2 u, NDM!
Nx
PS: Everyone needs a MML in their posse – Lord knows my piss poor attempt at a posse is full of the blessed bitches!
For obvious reasons I wholeheartedly support tiara wearing, and almost just shed a tear imagining you in all your velvet and sparkly NDM glory on this momentous occasion.
You have indeed made 40 your bitch. ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRR!
(and mwah – happy birthday again)
You are SO fucking hot right now. I am so jealous. Because I will never be as hot as you. And I will always be two years older.
*sob*
NDM, you are rocking the 40’s, loving the total eclipse of the heart.
I think you totally owned turning 40. How on earth will I fill those ‘not the mismatching red heels’ next year ? Rock on NDM and hurry up and get that bloody book published. x
Happy Birthday Darling! There’s life in the old dog yet!
spank you very much NDM, now I can’t get Total Eclipse out of my head and I was thousands of miles away from the legendary event
Sign me up for the 50th birthday please. I’m saving up for my passage to Oz from right now! I don’t drink much but I’m a helluva dancer and also no one will give a crap about being introduced to me because I haven’t appeared in your life enough to have a moniker in the NDM blog (…..yet – obviously all that would change after my hilarious yet adorable presence at the party).
Keep on rockin’ Miss 40 Forever Young x
Forty! Pah! I say, party on the NDM. x
Happy birthday festivus! (is it still going?)