Even though I’m now 40, I still take an active interest in what the Young People are doing and saying. Yes, I’m staying hip to the beat of the youth on the street.
Thanks to my dear friend KT, who maintains contact with the teenage world, I recently discovered the mot de jour is ‘Awks’, a derivative of the word ‘awkward’. And when something is, like, TOTALLY awkward, it becomes ‘Awks Giraffe’. There is a hand gesture and everything (and I think we all know how much I love my hand gestures) which is like the old “one potato, two potato, three potato, four!” routine, but with the antlers of the giraffe poking up at the end. Tidy.
Of course the greatest thing about the gesture for ‘Awks Giraffe’ is in itself ‘awks giraffe’ because when you do it, people tend to stare at you as if to say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? It’s awkward for everybody and that’s so hotrightnow.
Anyhoo, it’s fair to say I have filled my life with awks giraffe moments, even if I didn’t always have the phrase (and the accompanying gesture) to express it as such.
Like the time my sister Belle got up at my ‘Champagne & Cereal’ 21st birthday party and, in her speech, described how the thirteen year old me used to get her to tie me to the bed and whip me with shoe laces.
“But you don’t understand!” I shouted out, in my defence. “I was the slave and she was the master!”
Which just added to the whole awks giraffe-ness of it all – well, for me, anyway since my party guests were laughing so hard they were blowing Froot Loops out of their noses.
(Of course, what I should have said was all I wanted to do as a thirteen year old was lie around in bed and daydream about boys, so I devised games to play with my sister which allowed me to do just that. The very same principle applied to the other game where I’d pretend to be ‘Googie the big baby’ but let’s not go into that right now.)
And then there was the time the kids’ Foreign Language Teacher was raising money for a primary school in Chile and every announcement he made about it at school assembly made me go weak at the knees because he didn’t pronounce it ‘Chilly’ like the average Australian but instead said it ‘Chil-ay’ like he was pouring warm honey directly on my soul. And then when I brought cakes in for The Pixie’s birthday and ended up hanging out with her at lunch time, we saw the Foreign Language Teacher in the playground and he remarked “Oh, Pixie! I see you have someone special with you today!” and I smiled shyly and said “Great work with the Chile fundraising!”, only to have The Pixie tell me a few minutes later that she’d told the teacher that very morning that “My mummy likes it when you say ‘Chil-ay’!!!”.
Awks Giraffe.
And then just the other afternoon, I discovered, during a particularly heavy rain shower, that the front windscreen of the car had a leak in it so that every time I turned a corner, a puddle of ice cold water fell into my lap and I ended up having to pick up some kids from a birthday party looking like I’d completely pissed my pants.
Awky-Gee.
And then there was the time I didn’t know how to finish this post, so I set up a YouTube channel just so I could post this (soundless) video:
Yep: A dot G dot.
I love you. Grateful for the tip, I’m going to be looking so street now. Wouldn’t have dared try without the video, so thanks for taking the time. Inspired.
You’re multi-media-ing now! Love it.
Australian teen slang is so sweet by comparison to the Sarf London kid street-speak I used to have to daily decipher. Very Wire.
Innit though.
You look bang tidy in that vid.
Chil-ay…………… holy bugger you are funny.
So there IS someone in the world who is as bigger Loser as me. How refreshing.
Thanks for the morning giggle, NDM. You are helping me keep up with my tweens!
That Belle is a bad girl, sounds like it’s she who needs a little shoe lace whipping 😉
Love you, NDM. What with the bottle picture last week, and the awkward giraffe video, I don’t even think I have to go be in the world. I could just stay home, homeschool the kids, and reread NDM. Except maybe I would make a splatter movie if I had to homeschool …
You are sohotrightnow!
I try to use slang and my husband just stares at me like I’m retarded. At least WE know we’re cool.
You make me feel better about myself. Also, your video should contain a warning: Do not watch if you’ve birthed children and forgotten to do your pelvic floor exercises.
You’re sohotrightnow you slipped in a ‘Tidy’. For real NDM, you bad ass mo’fo.
Really? Saying something as naff as “Awks Giraffe” is cool? Well, I’ll be damned! x
After all these years, you are still so defensive about the whole slave & master / googie the baby game. I think you enjoyed it a whole lot more than you let on… 🙂
I hope that’s only the first of a whole “how to” series of hand gestures from the NDM. You know we need it – years of interpretative dance and mutlilingual signing have brought you to this moment. And you *know* what my first request will be…
Sweet. Now I’m prepared to conversate with my teenage step-homies when we drop by their crib this week. I thought I was pretty well hip with the kids, but AG must have slipped through my crack. How do ya reckon I’ll go?
haha my husband’s a high school teacher, and I teach at university, so together we’ve got a handle on the slang. Awks giraffe, however, is killing me – how fricking funny!!
Now there’s a saying and motion i might leave to the younguns for fear of getting it wrong and signing ‘gawky rabbit’ by mistake. Great Post – LOL!
there’s something wonderfully cool about being a grown up when you can sound so confident talking about even your most horrifying teenage moments!
didya know the My Little Pony/Unicorn/Mermaid is making a Special Guest Appearance in the background of the vid..?
For the record, the AUSLAN sign for a giraffe is more like the ‘Rock On Mofos’ sign … pointer raised, two middle fingers held back by thumb, and little finger raised.
… and the one they have made up is rather more like an AUSLAN snake… but, as you would say… anyhoo..!
🙂
Freakin’ hilarious.
NDM, you are so random. Can’t wait to throw A.G. at Le Artiste when he next hollers “O.M.G that is so random that it’s sick.”
Woo hoo! Let’s big it up for AG to the x-treme, sista!
Rad! Word. Something about shizzel.
[What? Yes I am 35. How did you guess?!]
Admit it. You made up the whole awks giraffe thing just so that I can use it during my next conversation with a young hottie, thinking I’m being all cool and random (or something) and he’s thinking WTF! Weirdo.
PMSL. With fruit loops.
“Venturing into a foreign land, with only a guideblog and The NDM’s handy illustrative video to guide you…you, too, can talk to teenagers…”
PMSL. 🙂
My children have an “awkward turtle” hand gesture. And they don’t even know what ‘awkward’ means. Maybe we can get the giraffe and the turtle together again sometime.
awks giraffe. I did not know that one. I’m only getting to grips with ‘whatevs’. Thank you for helping me stay hip to the young uns’ jive. Or something like that. Groovy baby.