Posts Tagged ‘Lost’

You know that saying that you never really know what goes on inside a relationship? I think my husband and I are a sterling example of this. Few people have any idea what goes on inside our marriage and it’s likely that they don’t really want to know.

But I’m going to tell everyone anyway.

Back in the day, when ‘Lost’ hadn’t become completely incomprehensible and was still shown in a reasonable time slot, my husband and I would sit down of a Thursday night to watch it.Well, I would watch it and my husband would just sit and tut and let out exasperated sighs as if to say “Could this show be any stupider?” but strangely never ever took my suggestion to go and spend his time doing something else.

Secretly, I suspect he loved Lost and wanted to kiss it on the lips.

Not so secretly, I knew he was waiting for Troy to come on. You know, Troy Ellis the guy who does the Powerball draw.

Oh, how we both loved Troy. We loved him more than we loved Vanessa O’Hanlan who did the helicopter traffic report on Sunrise and who (almost) inspired us to have t-shirts made up to say “The O’Hanlan”. We loved Troy because he was the consummate professional  – unlike Gavin, who filled in for Troy one night and read out one of the numbers incorrectly.

(Poor Gavin. He really blew his one chance at fame. As that urban poet, Eminem, once said “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow/ This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo!” Gavin, you sure did blow but not in the way Eminem intended. And no, not in the way you are thinking. Sheesh.)

We would often tell tales of Troy trying to blag his way into A-list events, that time he tried to date The O’Hanlan and how he would meet Gavin down at the Bingo night at the local RSL where they would take over the microphone and start shouting out random numbers (Gavin would still get the random numbers wrong. Poor Gavin.)

We would even sing songs about Troy. There was Toni Childs’ 1988 hit Stop Your Fussin’ (“Stop your fussin’, Troy/ stop your fussin’, Troy/ your time will come… yes, your time will come…”), Deniece Williams Let’s Hear It For The Troy!, The Cure’s Troys Don’t Cry – all sung using the vocal stylings of Toni Childs, of course. (Of course!)

We even thought of starting a Troy tribute band called ‘Troy Division 5’.

This wasn’t our first collaborative venture. In 1999, we came up with a successful marketing campaign for ‘Clipper Organic Teabags’ with a jingle and everything. By “successful”, it meant we bought at least two more packets of the stuff so we could keep singing the jingle.

And then there was this radio ad we wrote for Bondi Junction (in Sydney):

VOICE ONE: (broad Australian accent) Come and have a cup of cino and a cruss-ont at…
VOICE TWO: (heavy French accent) … Le Jonction!

Of course these days, we no longer watch Channel 7 on a Thursday night. My husband now has a proper job and I have this blog to entertain me (I have many Hugh Jackmans to befriend on Facebook, don’t you know!).

Sadly, Troy is no longer the centrepiece of our marriage…. Although, if Channel 7 wanted us to write a pilot for a sit-com called ‘Gavin and Troy’, we’d be willing to reinstate him…

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