Posts Tagged ‘messages from God’

The other day, I was talking to a friend (I still have friends, you know) about the fact she had her book group that night but had only read 30 pages of the book.

“I won’t be making much of a contribution,” she admitted.

Luckily she was talking to the Right Person when it came to attending book group without having read the book.

“Bring two bottles of wine. That’s a valuable contribution!” I told her. “Also, tell them you decided to approach the book from a different angle by reading the Wikipedia entry about the author.”

She looked unconvinced.

“Or you could just bring along a list of books for future meetings and shout at them that they’re all stuck in the past and that they should move on like you have,” I suggested. I always have the best ideas.

We actually have an official book list for my book group. At our last meeting, one of our group was writing down on the back of a takeaway menu.

“You’ll lose it!” everyone warned her.

“No, I won’t,” she replied. She seemed very confident.

“No, she won’t,” I concurred. “That’s my job.”

After all, I used to be custodian of that list except, well, I lost it (the list, that is). I searched high and low for the scrappy piece of paper I’d scrawled it on, before finally having admit my error to the group.

ANYWAY, the next morning after my last book group meeting, I was about half way along on the one kilometre walk to school when Mr Justice picked up a random piece of paper on the ground, as often is his habit (you never know when you might stumble across a mystery or a treasure map, apparently). He held it out to me, asking “Isn’t this your handwriting, mummy?”.

One glance told me that this was The List. The lost one. The one I had searched high and low for and which had stripped me of whatever remaining credibility I had as a Responsible Person with my book group.

Whether it had fallen out of my coat pocket, the pram or the sky was unclear. Maybe it hadn’t even fallen. Maybe it had been there all along for six whole months. Or maybe, I thought, The Mild Mannered Lawyer had nicked it off me half a year ago and then planted it along our school route just to fuck with my head.

And then it struck me: this could be a message directly from God.  After all, you may remember, He recently made contact with me by giving me a bruise that looked like His Son. If I were an atheist instead of a weak-arse “Ooh! I don’t know if God exists or not! (*sound of pissing pants*)” agnostic, I would possibly consider taking out some kind of restraining order at this point. But since I’m as open to messages from God as I am from messages from anyone else (for example, literary agents, publishers and people who want to give me a free iphone), I decided not to be freaked out. But if this was a Message From Above what was it trying to tell me?

When I got home from the school run, there was an email from the New Bearer Of The List admitting she’d already lost it.

And so it goes. One list is found, another is lost. One door opens, another one closes. Swings, roundabouts, etc etc. That’s the message. Sheesh! It hardly seemed worth the postage from Heaven to tell me that.

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