Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘on the campaign trail’

IT’S OFFICIAL! Über -blogger and long-time hero of mine, The Bloggess has formally endorsed my campaign for the title of Best Australian/NZ Weblog in the 2010 Bloggies.

And by “formally endorsed”, I mean she’s posted something about it on flickr.

“How did this happen?” I hear you ask.

Well, a few days ago, I wrote her a series of emails politely requesting her support. And by “politely requesting”, I mean “pathetically begging”. And for the record, I do a very good line in pathetic begging. Don’t believe me? I’ll let you be the judge:

_____________________________________________________________

TO:  The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR

Dear Jennie,

I am one of your blogging peers. I, too, am a finalist for the Bloggies. Except, well, if the truth be told, you’re like a finalist for the Bloggies and I’m like a finalist for the distant and possibly inbred cousin of the Bloggies. Yes, I am one of five Australia/New Zealand finalists. It’s a pity there couldn’t be six finalists because then all our region’s bloggers would have had a chance. Yes, I can make jokes, you know.

Anyway, I’m up against some tough competition… Is there some way you could please help further my cause via twitter or your blog? Wouldn’t you like to see the under-dog win? Although I’m loathe to use the term “under-dog” because I’m always worried it means the dog who’s taking it up the arse from the other dog on top of them.

ANYWAY, as a present to you, I am offering you this picture of a porn star I once made out of vegetables with my friend. I’m afraid that parts of her *did* get eaten some months ago – so my threat in the subject title was a little hollow. Although I’m sure part of her is still at the bottom of the compost bin, so I technically could still eat her except I expect that threatening to eat six month old compost won’t exactly spur you into action. But it might. You never know.

Yours sincerely and just an itsy-bitsy bit desperately,

The NDM


_____________________________________________________________

TO: The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR

PS. Did you like how I spelt your name “Jennie”? It’s just incase you were offended by the email and then I could claim it was intended for someone else.
_____________________________________________________________

TO: The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR

PPS. OH AND MY FRICKIN’ BLOG TITLE IS “NOT DROWNING, MOTHERING” AND THE ADDRESS IS HTTP://NOTDROWNING.WORDPRESS.COM

It’s no wonder Australia never wins wars or anything. We’re fucking hopeless.

_____________________________________________________________

FROM: The Bloggess
TO: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thebloggess/4308592975/ For you.

_____________________________________________________________

My sincere gratitude goes out to the Bloggess for a) indulging me with her flickr post and b) not alerting the authorities. And also to all my friends and family who have put up with endless rounds of emails begging them to vote for me this past week. I promise it won’t happen again. No, really. 

Please feel free to add your own endorsement in the comments section below and remember to Vote 1 for “Not Drowning, Mothering”  before 31st January 10:PM EST (That’s somewhere-in-America time).

Read Full Post »

Yes, the rumours are true. Through a heady combination of persistence, persuasion and outright blackmail, I’ve managed to get myself named as a finalist for the Australia/NZ category of the 2010 Bloggies.

Now, before anyone starts muttering “Whoopie-fucking-shit” and hinting that making the Aus/NZ finalists is like qualifying for the Alice Springs Ski Squad or being selected for the English cricket team, let me say this: there’s a lot of talent out down under and I feel very honoured (if a little surprised) to have made it thus far. Fact. 

Okay, so that’s enough of being gracious and modest and that. Let’s talk Strategy…

Honestly, it’s like an episode of The West Wing in my humble little house right now, what with the amount of campaign talk going down. Except that instead of all that walking and fast talking, there is a lot of running (kids) and loud shouting (me). Also there’s no talk of the Iowa Caucus because, although I’ve watched all seven seasons of The West Wing a number of times, I still have no idea what a caucus is or what the hell it is doing in Iowa. I just know that someone ought to clean that shit up.

ANYWAY, so far the only vaguely strategic thing I’ve managed to do is post a link on facebook. Oh, and I’ve briefly contemplated streaking at the Australian Open with N-D-M emblazoned across my ample arse. 

Yes, I’m a winner alright. 

Now, let’s talk Message. 

As I write, my quiet little blog is being trampled by hundreds of Bloggies Tourists wondering what the hell “yet another Mommy Blogger” is doing in the finalists. In fact, my Campaign Media Liaison (i.e. me) uncovered one critical remark on twitter accusing the Australian/NZ nominations for being “basically women’s mags done as blogs”.

I was deeply affronted by this allegation. For one thing I couldn’t think of a single women’s mag on the market that would call Elmo a prick, advocate anal botox or suggest microwaving underpants to get them dry.

Nor could I think of a single women’s mag that would publish this photo:

fridgedustbaffle

This is why you should never remove the dust baffle on your fridge, people.

 

Or this one:

vegiepornstar

Vegie Porn Star

 

Or even this one:

vomitingbear

Too many gin martinis for the class mascot

 

Basically, you could say I’m “just another Mommy Blogger”. But if all Mommies (and indeed Mummies) are like me, then you should also start praying for the future of our planet. After you’ve voted for me HERE, that is.

Read Full Post »