Posts Tagged ‘primary school games that don’t hold water in a legal court’

I have a problem with the concept of ‘Opposite Day’ – as championed by primary school-aged children the world over –  and I’m not afraid who knows it.

I mean, for one thing, how do we ever really know if it’s Opposite Day or not? Let us consider, for a moment, the following two scenarios:

SCENARIO ONE: It is Opposite Day.

PERSON A: Is it Opposite Day today?

SCENARIO TWO: It isn’t Opposite Day

PERSON A: Is it Opposite Day today?

I guess another question could be used as a litmus test, such as pointing at a cat and asking “Is this a cat?”. If the other person said “No, it isn’t a cat”, one might then assume that it is Opposite Day. However, there’s always the chance that this person doesn’t know what a cat is, the standard of education being what it is. Also, if you’re pointing at a cat like Genghis Cat, for example, they might just be implying “That’s no cat, lady. That there’s a monster…”. And they’d be right.

But wait! There’s more to my Opposite Day rant! Of course there is.

If someone proclaims it as Opposite Day, does that make it Opposite Day for everybody in the whole world or just the people in the same time zone? Does it apply to actions and emotions as well as words?  And does anyone ever see Opposite Day right through to its completion, saying and doing nothing but the very opposite from the moment the day is declared right up til the moment they stand under their bed fully dressed shouting “Bad Morning” at night?

People just don’t think these things through. It really shouldn’t be called Opposite Day at all. It should just be called “Localised Verbal Opposite Moment”. That would be way more accurate, if slightly less catchy.

Let’s face facts here: Opposite Day is mostly invoked because someone has said something they regret – whether it be factually incorrect, disingenuous or hurtful – or because they’re forced to say something they don’t want to say. Or, moreover, they want to make fun of something someone else has just said by turning it on its head with a flick of an Opposite Day switch. It is the tool of liars and scoundrels, people. Liars and scoundrels!

And for those of you who might think it might be a nifty way of getting out of a sticky legal situation (“Sorry I’m over the limit, officer, but I kept drinking because someone told me it was Opposite Day and that only people under the limit would be arrested…” or “We were never legally married because our wedding day was negated by a seven year old guest declaring Opposite Day on his sister!”), think again. For all the reasons stated above, the concept of Opposite Day is never going to hold water in a court of law. Never! Not as long as I live and breathe and can write angry letters to the local newspaper, that is. That’s how I show the colour of my rage.

Of course, when I just showed this post to my husband, asking him “Should I publish this or is it all too stupid?, his reply was: “Yes… you should definitely publish it.”

Stupid Opposite Day.

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