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Posts Tagged ‘sleepover party’

I don’t know about anyone else but I really love an ‘adult sleepover’ – you know, when you stay over at a friend’s house (often with your kids) instead of having to dodge breathalisers or taxi driver small talk on your way home.

I mean, what’s not to love about staying  in someone else’s house where they’re in charge of the meals and the dishes, you get to tuck your kids into beds made by someone else and then sit and drink and chat and laugh until the early hours of the night before rolling into yet another bed made by someone else? It’s perfection itself.

And so I was particularly pleased when the kids and I were recently invited by our good friends KC and MM to have a sleepover while my husband went un-flatpackin’ crazy with our new kitchen.

I am sad to report, however, that our sleepover became more about sleep than anything else. Both MM and I fell asleep on the couch during the last fifteen minutes of watching 80s classic ‘Heathers’ and KC ended up throwing a couple of blankets on me and dragging MM and herself to bed before it was even 9:30PM.

“You can’t let this be known,” KC told me the next morning. “My reputation as a party girl will be ruined forever more.”

(Now, I’m not sure where exactly she’s earned this reputation but I should add – to minimise damage control – that the last time KC came over to my house by herself she brought not one but TWO bottles of Prosseco and, handing them to me, gleefully exclaimed “I’m an enabler!!!”.)

Anyway, you’ll be pleased to know that we made up for our lack of a ‘Wild Night In’ with the grim discovery that Tiddles McGee and The Pixie were both hosting sizeable lice settlements on their scalps. KC and I subsequently got to sit outside for two hours in the freezing cold and occasional light rain shower while we carefully (and somewhat obsessively) combed through the kids’ hair in full daylight.

Yes, we are a pair of regular Good Time Gals.

Afterwards, KC kindly checked my scalp. Luckily, her extensive search uncovered only a small number of adult lice and no eggs.

“Let’s hope they were new arrivals and just didn’t have time to get into some hot louse-on-louse lovin’ action,” I remarked. “Unless, of course, they’re all females and it was hot louse-on-louse lesbotic lovin’ action. That’d be okay…”

At this point, MM passed by. Since he is a well-read sort, I thought I’d check my theory with him.

“Do you think there are lesbian lice, MM?” I asked.

“To be honest, I haven’t really thought about it,” he replied.

“Sure, you haven’t,” I said. “Sure.”

You see, I knew he would have. His mind has never been the same since I accidentally made him look at hardcore man-on-man porn.

Anyway, for the record, I’m hoping there really *are* lesbian lice and that those brave pioneers who chose to set up home on my scalp were some of them.

Unless, of course, they were progressive lesbian lice who had arranged a different sort of ‘adult sleepover’ with a gay lice couple on Tiddles McGee’s scalp before moving to mine… in which case, I think it’s fair to say that me and the lesbian lice are all fucked.

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The main purpose of the sleepover party is to take a group of children, get them high on sugar and hysterical through lack of sleep, and then release them back into the community.

The following documents my eight year old son’s recent sleepover party using the medium of ‘Twitter’. The tweets are fictitious but the events are (mostly) real.

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Keeping son’s party simple this year. No themes. No home-made pinatas. No party games. Just a few friends for bowling, tacos & sleepover.
1:03 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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My husband just left for bowling with five 8 year olds. I don’t think either of us realised what that actually meant until he was leaving.
2:47 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Yep. I can see I’ve made the right choice for my son’s party this year. I can say this mostly because I’m not actually at it yet.
3:46 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Husband has returned from bowling a mere shadow of his former pre-bowling self. He’s headed straight for the whisky.
5:15 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Husband has prised his lips away from the whisky bottle long enough to mutter something about letting the boys drink Coke. Oh, the humanity!
5:55 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Boys having punch-ups over custody of the Wii controller. That’d be the Coke talking, husband dear.
6:16 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Just read that my friend @bolshymum is having 4 kids under 6 sleep over. I have 7 under 9. We’re having a sleepover-off. Who will win?
6:48 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Apparently @bolshymum is already onto her second vodka. I, however, am competing without the aid of alcohol due to medical reasons.
6:52 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Stupid medical reasons.
6:53 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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.@bolshymum is claiming the first to get kids to bed is winner of sleepover-off. I’m looking at it more as an endurance event.
7:25 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Still, how reasonable is it for me to expect to get the kids into bed and asleep by 7:30 considering we haven’t had cake yet?
7:26 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Here is the cake. Somewhat eerily, it also depicts how I will look tomorrow.


8:02 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Kids now watching a movie. Bedtime seems another lifetime away.
8:14 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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News in that @bolshymum’s kids are all asleep. I expect she, herself, is about to pass out drunk. Ha! What a soft cock.
8:26 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Just told my husband if we’d had a ‘normal’ party, it’d have finished 5 hours ago. It’s not nice to see a grown man weep like that.
9:38 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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At least someone is tucked up asleep in bed, even if it’s just my husband.
9:49 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Movie finally finished. Kids running around screaming. I’ve left my husband’s empty whisky bottle in charge and am hiding in the toilet.
10:01 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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If I had a video camera rather than this iPhone, this would totally be my Blair Witch moment. I’m so scared. We’re going to die…
10:04 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone
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Sorted! What a marvelous invention the sleeping bag is! I’ve zipped all the boys in. They might still be shouting but at least they can’t move.
10:48 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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What’s that noise? Oh god. It’s some one telling jokes. At 5:45am. Isn’t there something in the Geneva Convention to prevent this kind of thing?
5:45 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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Husband just asked if I was awake. I pretended to be dead.
5:56 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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2.5 hours to go. I am busy putting everyone’s belongings beside the door to make myself feel better.
7:28 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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I told the parents 10AM. TEN. A. M. WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?
10:01 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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Son just thanked me for the Best. Party. Ever. I guess it wasn’t so bad. Of course, I can say this now that everyone’s gone home.
11:32 AM Aug 29th via Tweetdeck

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My husband just left for bowling with five 8yo. I don’t think it struck either of us what that would mean until he actually was leaving.
2:45 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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The last thing my husband said before he left was something about letting the boys drink Coke. Oh, the humanity!
2:47 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Husband has returned from bowling a mere shadow of his former pre-bowling self. He’s headed straight for the whiskey.
5:32 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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The boys are now punching each other up over custody of the Wii controllers. That’d be the Coke talking.
6:37 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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I have made an important discovery: the easiest way to diffuse conflict between 8yo boys is to accuse someone in the room of farting.
7:56 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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My friend @bolshymum has apparently got 4 kids under 6. I’ve got 7 under 9. We’re now having a sleepover-off. Who will win?
6:55 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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How reasonable is it for me to expect to have all seven kids asleep by 7:30 since we haven’t even had cake yet?
7:25 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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That @bolshymum is onto her 2nd vodka. I can’t drink because the antibiotics I’m on will make me chuck.
6:58 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Just realised that if we’d had a ‘normal’ birthday party, it would have finished 3 hours ago. Vodka’s looking good right now, vomit and all.
7:30 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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This was the birthday cake. It is also an eerie prediction of how I will look tomorrow.

7:42 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Now @bolshymum is claiming the winner of the sleepover-off is the 1st to get kids to bed. I’m thinking of it as more of an endurance event.
7:48 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Kids now watching a movie featuring Lucius Verenus and Diver Dan as Greek Gods. Bedtime seems another life time away.
8:02 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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Movie is violent AND scary. Kids will be up all night either whacking each other with sticks or freaked out of their skulls.
8:14 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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News in that @bolshymum’s kids are all asleep. Everyone here still wired on coke. My husband has slunk off to bed with the whisky.
8:46 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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One 8yo has gone home. I had a tear in my eye as he left. I wanted to go with him.
9:48 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Movie finished. Kids releasing pent-up energy by running and shouting. A lot. I’m hiding in the toilet.
10:02 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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The sleeping bag is a marvelous invention. I’ve zipped all the boys up. They might still be shouting but at least they can’t move.
10:28 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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What’s that noise? Oh god. It’s some one telling jokes. At 5:45am. Isn’t the Geneva Convention supposed to prevent this kind of thing?
5:45 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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Husband just asked if I was awake. I pretended to be dead.
5:56 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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2.5 hours to go. I am busy putting everyone’s belongings beside the door to make myself feel better.
7:28 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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I told the parents 10AM. TEN. A. M. Where are they? WHERE ARE THEY?
10:01 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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All guests have gone. The shouting has stopped. Let the over-tired sobbing begin, starting with…. me.
10:35 AM Aug 29th via Tweetdeck

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Daughter just asked if she could have a sleepover for 10 of her closest friends on her 6th birthday. I can’t stop shaking.
11:32 AM Aug 29th via Tweetdeck

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Daughter just asked to have sleepover for her 6th birthday. I can’t stop shaking.
2:45 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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My husband just left for bowling with five 8yo. I don’t think it struck either of us what that would mean until he actually was leaving.
2:45 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

____________________________________________________________

The last thing my husband said before he left was something about letting the boys drink Coke. Oh, the humanity!
2:47 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

Husband has returned from bowling a mere shadow of his former pre-bowling self. He’s headed straight for the whiskey.
5:32 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

The boys are now punching each other up over custody of the Wii controllers. That’d be the Coke talking.
6:37 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

I have made an important discovery: the easiest way to diffuse conflict between 8yo boys is to accuse someone in the room of farting.
7:56 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

My friend @bolshymum has apparently got 4 kids under 6. I’ve got 7 under 9. We’re now having a sleepover-off. Who will win?
6:55 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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How reasonable is it for me to expect to have all seven kids asleep by 7:30 since we haven’t even had cake yet?
7:25 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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That @bolshymum is onto her 2nd vodka. I can’t drink because the antibiotics I’m on will make me chuck.
6:58 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Just realised that if we’d had a ‘normal’ birthday party, it would have finished 3 hours ago. Vodka’s looking good right now, vomit and all.
7:30 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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This was the birthday cake. It is also an eerie prediction of how I will look tomorrow.

7:42 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

Now @bolshymum is claiming the winner of the sleepover-off is the 1st to get kids to bed. I’m thinking of it as more of an endurance event.
7:48 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

Kids now watching a movie featuring Lucius Verenus and Diver Dan as Greek Gods. Bedtime seems another life time away.
8:02 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

Movie is violent AND scary. Kids will be up all night either whacking each other with sticks or freaked out of their skulls.
8:14 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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News in that @bolshymum’s kids are all asleep. Everyone here still wired on coke. My husband has slunk off to bed with the whisky.
8:46 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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One 8yo has gone home. I had a tear in my eye as he left. I wanted to go with him.
9:48 PM Aug 28th via Tweetdeck

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Movie finished. Kids releasing pent-up energy by running and shouting. A lot. I’m hiding in the toilet.
10:02 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

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The sleeping bag is a marvelous invention. I’ve zipped all the boys up. They might still be shouting but at least they can’t move.
10:28 PM Aug 28th via Twitter for iPhone

____________________________________________________________

What’s that noise? Oh god. It’s some one telling jokes. At 5:45am. Isn’t the Geneva Convention supposed to prevent this kind of thing?
5:45 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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Husband just asked if I was awake. I pretended to be dead.
5:56 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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2.5 hours to go. I am busy putting everyone’s belongings beside the door to make myself feel better.
7:28 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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I told the parents 10AM. TEN. A. M. Where are they? WHERE ARE THEY?
10:01 AM Aug 29th via Twitter for iPhone

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All guests have gone. The shouting has stopped. Let the over-tired sobbing begin, starting with….  me.
10:35 AM Aug 29th via Tweetdeck

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Daughter just asked if she could have a sleepover for 10 of her closest friends on her 6th birthday. I can’t stop shaking.
11:32 AM Aug 29th via Tweetdeck

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