Here’s some weird-arse shit: I’m writing this post the evening before my family and I set off on a week long road-trip but it is being published on the morning of the day we’re scheduled to return.
How’s that for a Terminator-style mind-fuck?
It isn’t entirely unlike the kids having an “Early Christmas” with their Nanna the weekend before Christmas. The Pixie, in particular, was interested to know why Christmas had come so early when her Advent Calendar clearly showed there were five more sleeps.
And then Mr Justice and I started arguing about which day “Actual Christmas” (as opposed to “Early Christmas”) fell on and he went to look at the calendar on my mother’s wall.
“That’s not this year’s calendar,” I reminded him, for it was a decorative calendar and not a functional one, being a gift from my late (and much beloved) Aunty M to my mother from the year 2000.
“Oh, I just want to see which day Christmas was on in the olden days,” Mr Justice replied. “Oooh, Wednesday! Ah, so Christmas used to be on a Wednesday, huh!”
I didn’t have the heart to point out he was looking at October. But technically, he was correct: Christmas had most certainly fallen on a Wednesday in the past.
He was quiet for a while, no doubt imagining the former glory of past Wednesdays that had been Christmas “in the olden days”. And then he piped up again:
“Remember the launch of Ben Ten Alien Swarm that was on Cartoon Network on Saturday the 16th?” he asked.
“The 16th of what?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter!” Mr Justice replied somewhat impatiently. “The point is that in the olden days it would have been on a Monday. That’s a school night!”
He seemed almost outraged at such poor planning on the part of the creators of Alien Swarm.
“Except it wouldn’t have been made yet because this year was the first year it was shown,” I pointed out. “Thus the ‘launch’ aspect…”
“Yeah, yeah,” was his dismissive reply. “But it *would have been* on a Monday. You know, in those old days.”
Okay, sure.
Anyway, the point of all this is that now I’m writing this future post in a present that is already the past. It’s enough to turn a Not Drowning Mother to drink. Except that I suspect the road-trip might already have done that. Just a guess. Or rather, just a past prediction about a future which is now the present. Sheesh!
This is not at all yet entirely relevant. Rexy my son received Back to the Future, parts 1, 2 and 3 in his Christmas stash. It’s all about that delicate line of what you can bear watching as a family, that doesn’t involve mutants and bad animation. Anyway, we all watched it last night and it was a hoot. But speaking of the past in the future in the past, I really couldn’t get his two versions of his family, used as bookends. I hope, NDM, that the road trip is filled with as many fights, and tears, and laughter, bad jokes and steering-wheel gripping with crankiness, as possible. Have a lovely holiday.
*QLTMRB* (damn it these expressions are going to take off if it kills me – No more ROFL for me – it never happens, never whoever Quietly Laughing to Myself reading Blog does, as does LSHCCOMN occasionally (Laughing so hard Coffee Came Out My Nose – however that is purely reserved for your blog.)
Ah, those olden days when we walked to school twenty miles in the snow only wearing a coal sack, when out video games only played one and they were black and white, in the days before the number 2 was on the start of the year…
🙂
i just hope no one vomits during your holiday NDM
x
miss jane
Hello! Happy Christmas and all of that! I hope you have had a spectacularly relaxing and non-vomit filled break and that the car didn’t break and that you didn’t have any wardrobe malfunctions. Oh and presents. I hope there were presents (Ben 10 ones for Mr Justice).
xxxx
OK. You are messing with my mind. I am so confused right now, I have to go and wash my face with cold water and come back and read this again.
I mean, are you here now? Or in the past? Where the hell are you?
Anyway, whatever. Hope you had a great Christmas. x
I’m confused – did you destroy Skynet and end the Tyrrany of the Machines? Or am I going to have to watch yet a fifth Terminator film and be bored beyond reason by another flat Christian Bale performance (he left his mojo in the Locker Room folks, ie. wasted it shouting at the gaffer).
Addendum – as I am replying to an automated post perhaps the machines are already our masters and this question just makes me more of a target.
Further addendum – I wonder if in the olden days Santa knew he’d always end up working on a public holiday?
Funny post! As usual, you made me QLWRYB – Quietly Laugh While Reading Your Blog (There you go @aprilke). Good to have you back. @NDM.
Ok. That is mind blowing.
Yep, I’m confused as well!
Hope you are having / had a fantabulously delicious Christmas and hope that your road trip goes / went swimmingly!
I’m now having fun catching up on 3 months’ worth of missed blogs while on blogg-twit hiatus, and you’ve got me in tears of laughter with just the first few already!
STxxx
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