Mission Statement: The Gallery of Domestic Godlessness is a haven for housewives (and househusbands) of ill-repute all ’round the globe to share their domestic shame.
THE NDM IS CURRENTLY CALLING FOR CONTRIBUTIONS: please send photos of your domestic squalor to notdrowningmother@gmail.com
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Sent in by ‘Deep In The Heart Of Texas’, September 2010
The NDM says: I find myself humbled by the breadth of the clutter depicted in these photos. We’re not talking about a lone ‘cluttered drawer’ or a single ‘junk room’ here. We’re talking a whole house. This shows commitment to never putting anything away and I salute my Texan friend. A few things concern me, however. Firstly, the range hood in Photo G is suspiciously clean. Where is the thick layer of grime built up from years of making fatty fry-up breakfasts when completely hung-over? I’m also a bit concerned that the chairs at the dining room table (Photo B) can be pulled out and pushed back in without obstruction. However, I always welcome a slatternly bedroom shot where I get to spot other people’s underwear (Photo A). Bravo.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥♥
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Sent in from ‘Rachael’ from ‘Tales from the Village’, August 2010
Click here for more of her ‘show-all’ photos.
The NDM says: There are two things I love about this photo. The first is that there is a vacuum cleaner amidst all that mess which looks sadly neglected. Bravo, Rachael! The second is that there is a handy car seat to strap small children into to stop them from getting lost in the rubble. However, I am a little disappointed a pathway appears to have been cleared. I would have preferred it if those paint tins had to be used as ‘stepping stones’, with one of them without a lid on it to keep things really interesting.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥
Sent in by ‘Mystery K’, July 2010
The NDM says: It’s hard not to be excited when you receive a collection of photographs as slovenly as these. While I’m a little disappointed that the burn marks in Fig. A don’t reveal the Face Of Christ, Fig. B makes up for things because that little red ball makes it look like a clown might’ve died and rotted away to dust under that bed. Fig. C, of course, should be a reminder to us all that small children should play no part in decorating their room. And Fig. D warms my heart because the blue footprint was obviously placed there on purpose to make us all think that a Blue Paper Yeti made the mess. As for Fig. E and Fig. F – the stone jar was apparently there to hide the spiderwebs, but I suspect it served a dual-purpose by holding the ashes of the last person to clean the house – something with ‘Mystery K’ vehemently denies, and yet…
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥♥♥
The NDM says: The best thing about this photo is that ‘Mrs King’ admits that this is her clean laundry pile. It’s a wonderful way to ensure the clothes get all dirty and crumpled again without ever actually being worn, which, in turn, saves a whole lot of unnecessary faffing about with buttons and zippers and frees the family up to be naked most of the time. Result. However, she loses points because the floor boards still have some shine to them, suggesting they’ve may have been cleaned in the last year. Shame, Mrs King. Shame.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥
Sent in by Miss M, April 2010
The NDM says: I, for one, am most impressed that Miss M was brave enough to open this drawer to take this photo. It certainly looks like the contents might easily spring up into your face like one of those ‘Can of Snakes’ things you can buy from the back of Archie comics. Bravo, Miss M! Unfortunately, however, she loses points for having such items stuffed away in a drawer and not sprinkled liberally across each flat surface of her house.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥
Sent in by Lady K, April 2010
The NDM says: You have to applaud a mess so grand that it takes three photographs to even start to do it justice. Lady K really is setting the bar very high here: not a single surface or seat is clear of matter. The only thing that prevents her from receiving five stars here is that there appears to be a clear pathway through to the desk. I’m sure with some effort (or lack thereof), she may yet achieve this, however.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥♥
Sent in by “NotYourMother”, April 2010
The NDM says: “NotYourMother” claims that this photo shows the end result of leaving her two sons in the care of their father all day. I dispute her claim. It is clearly the mess that they made in the very first hour together and then just stepped over for the remainder of the day.
I particularly like the fact that the carefully laid track takes the spectator on a journey past the paper and pens to the coffee table and open cupboard behind that. Superb.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥♥
Sent in by “#filthymofo”, February 2010
The NDM says: There is something utterly heartbreaking about this photo. And it’s not, as some might imagine, because “#filthymofo” didn’t manage to clean her oven for three years. Nor that she didn’t just throw away the whole oven and buy a new one rather than clean it at all, as other people have very smartly suggested.
It’s heartbreaking simply because “#filthymofo” only managed to take the photo half-way through the cleaning process. All I can do is mourn the photo that might have been.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥♥♥
Sent in by “Not The NDM” (no relation)
The NDM says: Honestly! Who sends in these photos! This is supposed to be a photo of what lurks down the back of the couch and yet there only appears to be one marble. Where are the rest, eh? I suggest you have a good long look at yourself if your marbles are actually in the designated marble box. It’s a sign of a wasted life.
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥ ♥
Sent in by KT, February 2009
The NDM says: To be honest, my dear friend KT took her own sweet time sending in these photos. But now that I finally see the state of her vanity table, I expect the time delay had something to do with her having trouble locating the camera. Kudos, KT. Kudos! As for the state of her son’s dress up box (top photo), it looks like backstage after a performance of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. It takes a special kind of child to go through that many costumes so quickly. Master J: I salute you!
Domestic Godlessness Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Wondering what the hell happened to all the other photos? Turns out, I’ve actually tidied them away in the Archives… Click here to see them.
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Ahh, throwing away, what a top suggestion. Perhaps next time filthymofo will do just that. Dirty little housewife that she is.
Oh, how I love this. I just love it.
I’m with Jana – love it all – proof that we are all living our lives and that sometimes we run out of energy to maintain the facade that everything is in its place all of the time…or even was in its place.
I don’t feel very well *struggles to catch breath while admitting that she is afraid of mess, petrified of it actually*
Can’t comment much more, I am off to see my therapist….
I fell a little lighter with more of a spring in my step seeing theses oh so normal photos. Hooray for domestic godlessness, long may it reign in all it’s unfolded, un ironed, uncleared, unputaway glory.
This gallery does a great service to parent-kind, if not all of humankind!
The perfect answer to all your mess gals…travel! Fill a suitcase with your crap, all the clothes you want to toss, old undies, holed socks, bad cut jeans, wear them once and throw them in the bin of your 5 star hotel bathroom, then on to the next. You go home rested with no suitcase to upack.
Ahhh, I feel better now.
feel so much better now, phew…must submit some photos of my own lol
Ha ha – I LOVE Domestic Godlessness!
The photos are GREAT but your comments are GOLD!
Unfortunately I am a total neat freak and anything I sent it possibly wouldn’t even rate one star (that said, I laughed so hard at this site that my lunch fell out of my mouth and onto my top and now i get to spend the rest of the day at work with chewed apple slobber upon my bust)!
I only just ‘liked’ your facebook page today because of your last post….and am kicking myself I hadn’t done it earlier. Notifications that you’ve updated, and oh such quality. Totally love a perve at other people’s squalor. Thanks.
Great comments NDM… great chuckles. I relate to the marbles being anywhere but the marble box/jar/takeaway container…
I get the part that house is not a museum… And I myself like when home looks like stuff has been happening around… But really, this is a health hazard…..
Maybe picking up food off the floor or cleaning up a mold once a month would be half reasonable effort…..
According to my husband I am a seriously messy person, but even at the very worst i haven’t reached the level of some of those photos…
Bottom line – messy is fine, ridiculously dirty – definitely not fine!
lol…I thought I was the only owner of the cringe worthy top (read miscellaneous crap) draw…note to self, must change due to the amount of guests who mistakenly go there for cutlery, and slowly back their way out of the kitchen!
wow this makes me feel so normal!!!! I will have to post some of my own Godlessness soon I think. If I can help just one other slovenly mother feel normal then I will have done a great service!
🙂
What the… What have I told you about breaking into my house and taking pictures?! Sheesh, if you don’t cut this out I’m going to have to have a word with my cousins, dogs, friends, hamsters, next door neighbours gold fish – he’s a top lawyer dontcha know…
Tsk.
we were the perfect candidates for this, some real godlessness happening, and then the mother-in-law visited – in one day it was all ruined
OMG love it! Was thinking of taking a photo of our toyroom/homework area, but it doesn’t even compare with these photos! My kitchen table looks like the one in the first lot of pictures most of the time, I feel like I’m constantly moving stuff and what I hate is that when you go to friend’s houses their table looks clean and immaculate and I always think where the HELL to they put all their school papers, newspapers, pencil sharpeners, pens, book, magazines et at? Or do they just do one of those table swipes into the washing basket as soon as they hear the doorbell go?!! I am suspicious…
BTW just read about your blog in the Women’s Weekly – congratulations! Will pop in occasionally to see what’s going on…
I’ve just found you tonight and I’m hooked. I want more of these photos please. MORE. You are too funny. Consider me a fan and a regular reader.
I would have sent in photos but they wouldn’t make the grade, given that we moved 2 months ago and half our general use junk is still hidden in the boxes that instead litter our house.
Oh wow! Mine is mostly confined to cabinets, but they do rain down on me at least once a week… and don’t look in my garage. DON’T.
Thank you for this free photo-therapy. Now I can give up the dream of proper clutter management and join the ranks of the happy, normal, domestically godless folks out there!
I just found your blog tonight. Absolutely love the photos…. some of them don’t deserve to be here…. my house is 5 times worse…. now where did I put the camera so I can send you some pics…..lol
❤ ❤ ❤ this absolutely!
This just made my day. I’m not alone in the world after all 🙂