I think we all know by now that I should never say anything about anything. When KT first asked me about helping out with her kids, Master J and Cyclone Bella, while she was away (see “And Then There Were Five“), I said something like “Yes, yes, it should all be fine – as long as nobody gets gastro and the car doesn’t break down.”
And you know what? Both those things happened and it was still fine. No really, it was.
Of course, I can say this now because KT is back this weekend and my first “tour of duty” is officially over. In fact, to celebrate I might just get a t-shirt made up that says “In the last three weeks, I survived three kids with gastro, a fairy birthday party, hosting mothers’ group, the death of the Love Bus and eight whole days of looking after two extra children and I’m still smiling, except I’m not really because I went to the oral surgeon’s yesterday and it kind of hurts!”. But now that I look at it, it’s a little on the wordy side and the writing would have to be really small and would probably mean complete strangers with bad garlic breath would come up really close to me just to read it. Stupid t-shirt.
But I digress.
“Hang on, hang on. What was all that about oral surgery, NDM?” I can hear the usual people asking. “We remember your last trip to the oral surgeon was a little, uh, trippy. In fact we’re including a hyperlink to that post in this little interjection of ours… here it is: The Monsters Upstairs.”
Thanks for the hyperlink there, people. And yes, it was another trip to the oral surgeon and I can tell you this much: I embraced the idea of being intravenously sedated so that someone could drill into my skull like it was a holiday in the Whitsunday Islands. Because it meant that I didn’t have to look after any children for an afternoon.
But, actually, now that I think about it, with all that money I spent on oral surgery, I could have paid for a week’s holiday for me, my husband, the kids and a full-time nanny in the Whitsundays and still had change for cocktails. And let’s face it, you don’t need teeth to enjoy a jug of Mango Daiquiri. What the hell was I thinking?
Again, I digress.
My point here (there’s a point?) is that I did it. I survived all those things listed on that fictitious t-shirt of mine and still managed to crack a few jokes about it all. It wasn’t always easy, it certainly wasn’t pretty. But I did it.
And here’s the proof: when, on the second last day, Uncle B came to pick up his kids, I admitted to him that the “shouting [NDM]” had made a big appearance that day but that, hopefully, there had been enough of the Nice NDM in the mix as well.
Master J, who was standing next to me, piped up, completely unprompted, to say: “No, there was only nice [NDM]!”.
Which makes me think that my celebratory t-shirt should probably just say : “When all is shouted and done, I’m really quite nice.”
No, really.
“Don’t Need Teeth to Enjoy a Mango Daiquiri” would be a good title for your blogs when they are published.
I distinctly remember the joy of root canal surgery six or so months after the birth of my first. just to lay down on that comfy chair for half an hour or so, eyes closed and gassed up to the nines. it was bliss. my lovely dentist even gave me the happy gas the for my check up, even when i didn’t need it!
x
j
Gin is good for just about everything. If that does not work I thoroughly recommend Scotch. That has been known to kill the pain instantly. You lose a few brain cells, but what the hey..
You are the MEGA NICEST NDM in the whole wide universe!!!!!!
As if THAT wasn’t a given!
You rock as a mum – how come we can always see this in others – never in ourselves – hmmm –
too philosophical –
I think you would make a packet on t-shirts for Mums that just say “I’m trying really really hard” – theres a market in that…
*empathy* over oral surgery actual envy of the anesthetic – how worn out am I 🙂
I can not even begin to express how thrilled I am at the prospect of getting my first crown. For that price you would think I could stick it on my head instead of in my mouth. Perhaps I can accessorize with a couple of gold fillings ?Choice.
Ok now contemplating some kind of elective surgery so I can finally go have a lie down…
Glad to hear you have survived your grueling couple of weeks. I award you a “you are my hero” honorary trophy made out of playdough.
You’re two kids down, the vomiting has stopped, no-one has a birthday and you have a new car. It HAS to be a better week now doesn’t it?
x
I still can’t believe you agreed to watch five children.