IT’S OFFICIAL! Über -blogger and long-time hero of mine, The Bloggess has formally endorsed my campaign for the title of Best Australian/NZ Weblog in the 2010 Bloggies.
And by “formally endorsed”, I mean she’s posted something about it on flickr.
“How did this happen?” I hear you ask.
Well, a few days ago, I wrote her a series of emails politely requesting her support. And by “politely requesting”, I mean “pathetically begging”. And for the record, I do a very good line in pathetic begging. Don’t believe me? I’ll let you be the judge:
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TO: The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR
Dear Jennie,
I am one of your blogging peers. I, too, am a finalist for the Bloggies. Except, well, if the truth be told, you’re like a finalist for the Bloggies and I’m like a finalist for the distant and possibly inbred cousin of the Bloggies. Yes, I am one of five Australia/New Zealand finalists. It’s a pity there couldn’t be six finalists because then all our region’s bloggers would have had a chance. Yes, I can make jokes, you know.
Anyway, I’m up against some tough competition… Is there some way you could please help further my cause via twitter or your blog? Wouldn’t you like to see the under-dog win? Although I’m loathe to use the term “under-dog” because I’m always worried it means the dog who’s taking it up the arse from the other dog on top of them.
ANYWAY, as a present to you, I am offering you this picture of a porn star I once made out of vegetables with my friend. I’m afraid that parts of her *did* get eaten some months ago – so my threat in the subject title was a little hollow. Although I’m sure part of her is still at the bottom of the compost bin, so I technically could still eat her except I expect that threatening to eat six month old compost won’t exactly spur you into action. But it might. You never know.
Yours sincerely and just an itsy-bitsy bit desperately,
The NDM
_____________________________________________________________
TO: The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR
PS. Did you like how I spelt your name “Jennie”? It’s just incase you were offended by the email and then I could claim it was intended for someone else.
_____________________________________________________________
TO: The Bloggess
FROM: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR
PPS. OH AND MY FRICKIN’ BLOG TITLE IS “NOT DROWNING, MOTHERING” AND THE ADDRESS IS HTTP://NOTDROWNING.WORDPRESS.COM
It’s no wonder Australia never wins wars or anything. We’re fucking hopeless.
_____________________________________________________________
FROM: The Bloggess
TO: The NDM
SUBJECT: RE: READ THIS EMAIL OR I’LL EAT THE VEGIE PORN STAR
http://www.flickr.com/photos/thebloggess/4308592975/ For you.
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My sincere gratitude goes out to the Bloggess for a) indulging me with her flickr post and b) not alerting the authorities. And also to all my friends and family who have put up with endless rounds of emails begging them to vote for me this past week. I promise it won’t happen again. No, really.
Please feel free to add your own endorsement in the comments section below and remember to Vote 1 for “Not Drowning, Mothering” before 31st January 10:PM EST (That’s somewhere-in-America time).
Found your blog at the bloggies site! That’s how I find my favorites!
I’m going to assume now that I’m one of your new favourites. Because my fragile ego dictates it at this crucial stage of the Bloggies race.
Long-time lurker, first time commenter. My vote’s in. Good luck!
Uh, you look very familiar madmother. Could we be related somehow?
If there was a Shameless Self-Promoter award you would surely win it… and I would be your loudest cheerleader (and possibly a contender:-)). I LOVE shameless self promotion. Tis the only way in the cut-throat bloggerverse. (WTF? – is ‘bloggerverse’ even a word?) Good LUCK!!
Thank you. I need it.
wow – the big guns are coming out 😛
You bet, my sting-tailed friend.
Wow ! Things are getting heavy. Remind me never to upset you. it’s a good job you don’t know where I live . You don’t, do you ?…………
Don’t know where you live?? I’m only standing outside your house right this very moment, holding a vomiting child, is all.
ok ok, you’ve got my vote too. Especially as all the other finalists are a tad…….um……errrrr…….earnest. Yours is my new addiction, thanks
Many thanks for the vote. Hopefully no-one will force you to go into rehab for this new addiction of yours – I need the readers! To fuel my own addiction!
Deep breaths out, deep breaths out NDM xx
(Why do I feel nervous about using your real name?)
Because I really do know where you live…
Voted for you. And not just because I want to see that Chipmunk throat ripped apart. Yours is the best thrice weekly laugh, cry, nod of empathy in my life. Bring on the prizes.
But seriously, rip that Chip-Punk a new one, Genghis.
“Hello! Itchy butt! Uh-huh!!!”
I voted for you of course – not because you nagged but because the stellar writing you are doing deserves some kind of massive prize (which the bloggies may or may not be but it’d be a start).
I just found the post about the underpants in the microwave, which I had been hoping was a useful modern tip about drying clothes in the microwave at 8.15am when all the school uniform is wet, how wrong was I? And how glad that my hopes for a tip were dashed?!
Newbie NDM fans/curious types I recommend the underpant story:
And for those of a nervous disposition towards women’s cycles or who ‘just can’t relate to that women’s shit’ (well not literally women’s shit..I can see where you think that might be heading) I recommend;
just to clarify, my second recommend is NOT about women’s cycles, shit or any other feminine bits
I can vouch for that. It’s about a mo’ fo’ pump and deserves a Coarse Language warning sticker.
I’m taking that’s menstrual cycles and not women cyclists? They make me nervous. Especially when their thighs are so strong that they can crack a walnut between them.
Thanks for directing traffic, Fee S. Your support is, as always, much appreciated. Cash would also be nice, too.
Yeah but not cash from me? You mean cash from other people, don’t you? Just clarifying..
I was intentionally ambiguous about the cycles in case some readers (and we know I mean ‘some male readers’) got nervous at even the mention of menstruation. Of course if men had cycles we’d have Tiger Woods and John Terry fronting a dashing ad campaign with dynamic tampons flying about and gallons of manly blood gushing all over the place – in so many ways the world might be a different place for those two boys.
Amen.
Imagine if men had to give birth or breastfeed or do the dishes or scrub the vomit off the carpet or get their own beer from the fridge or…
Maybe I’m just talking about my man here…
I came over to visit from the Bloggies award : ). How exciting for you. I love your picture and your clever letter! Nice to meet you! PS Your blog title is delightful!
Thank you so much for dropping by and being nice about my humble (and yet very strange) blog.
Yay for you…and the endorsing Bloggess! And remember a vote for the NDM at the bloggies before midnight tonight is a vote for more hilarious vomiting times ahead…(Type 6). BTW- I really think you should have included the T-shirt shot to really slam dunk the case for yourself.
Do you mean this one?
See “The NDM Children’s Vomit Scale” for further explanation.
Can’t see it! Is it me or you?
I can see the photo… and it’s me. It’s always me. Who else can carry off having a picture of a type six vomit emblazoned across their chest?
If you still can’t see it (I suspect they’re blocking it at your place of work because it’s as close to vomit pornography as anyone cares to get), here is the link:
http://twitpic.com/r3kz2
Totally shameless NDM, but heck, why not ? Your blog is witty, honest, raw & original and one that I truly look forward to reading every week. Good luck with the Bloggies. x
Thanks ever so much, Waffler. I look forward to hosting you each week!
So I wasn’t the only one you were begging for help from? I’m hurt. Actually I’m relieved because The Bloggess is a much bigger fish than me and I’ve got the feeling you’re a bigger fish than me. So I was just wondering how I was going to convience three readers to vote for you and how much of a difference it’ll make. I’m rambling now, aren’t I?
Oh, I begged anyone and everyone that I thought might be able to help.
Those three votes you earnt me will make all the difference, you see. Especially when Mia Freedom (http://mamamia.com.au) beats the rest of us nominees 24,000 votes to 12.
Oh, and thank you again, dear faemom. You are one of my most erstwhile readers and I thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin (mostly thick)!
[…] eat a very interesting looking Vegie porn star she had created with a rather impressive outcome https://notdrowning.wordpress.com/2010/01/30/shameless/ . You can read more about both those offers on the links – should they work – after all this is […]
I don’t care if Mia Freedom is famous – your blog is the winning blog. I read and I vote! (or rather, I voted, before the deadline even)
Not that you’re biased or anything, right?
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